If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.

CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY - How about You?

 

 

I tried that one but the scrap man said I was taking the mick and wouldnt give a dime for an old bag of bones. He must have felt sorry for me because he gave me half a Viagra tablet and told me to try that. Unfortunately it got stuck in my throat and I had a stiff kneck for 8 hours after that. Cheers Peter

 

That was very funny. lol

 

This really made me laugh out loud!
Thank you,....

 

You are just too clever....and hilarious!

 

What we need is an offer of a new body for turning in our old clunker. The first part works well, but the second????

Maybe the best thing is to keep it and wait until it becomes a classic or antique. I'm getting there.

frank

 

I recon these flesh and bone bodies are not tough enough, I'm asking for a stainless steel one next time.
Love the jokes, Ian.

 

Like the lady said to the butcher, "do you keep dripping" , "yes" he replied "awfull aint it".
Ian.