Hope this note finds everyone had a wonderful holiday season and all is well in your lives and you look forward to the New Year ahead.

I recognize there may be a statute of limitations on Christmas posts, but I’ve been going through intensive training to improve my dexterity and speed in the proper use of my Christmas gifts, which are absolutely crucial elements in their successful implementation, and had to type this post in the extremely limited time available. Well, there was that case involving syncope and house paint, but that’s another story entirely.

You’ve all had that well intentioned gift that was less than anyone’s expectations and have stories behind them, but I think the gifts I received from my family this year, four identical gifts from each member of my loving clan far exceed anything you could ever believe for the worst gift ever.

I love my family dearly and appreciate they were willing to spend their time and hard earned money to provide me with presents, but at best these gifts were insensitive, at worst they’re sadistic objects to provide to Congestive Heart Failure patients. Aren’t gifts supposed to be given from the heart with the implication that they are well planned and thought out? I submit to you, is it not cruel enough that those of us in this category suffering from CHF must be subjected to continuous obstacles like watching our diet and monitoring our sodium intake, checking our weight daily to assure no fluid build-up has occurred and taking handfuls of diuretics to keep fluid build-up under control.

For those of you fortunate enough to be oblivious as to the significance of this issue, it means an extremely bland diet and an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom, loo, or john draining the well. I’m sure my friends in the US have been subjected to those constant commercials about frequent going that are so annoying, but it’s reality for many members here and they can probably relate.

So tell me if you think I’m wrong and this “gift” from the dark side isn’t the worst gift of all time. Yep, it’s Levi’s button fly jeans. Now I ask you is that the epitome of harsh and vicious ideas for a heart patient? I no sooner get the multitude of buttons properly secured than I must undo each at the speed of light, like deja vu all over again. On a positive note, my lovely wife did pay for factory training on proper use and speed of operation.

 

 

it's not a Union Suit, which is what I got. That and a Snuggie. At least the Snuggie is completely open in the back so for us gals it's not a problem. On the other hand, for guys......what's the point of having your hands free? LOL.


One year for Christmas, I kid you not. I got Beans for Christmas. My brother in-law thought I said "Jeans", but nope...."Beans" like the kind you buy in a bag at the grocery store. My sister's get well gift to me after my 2nd pacemaker implant tops the cake though. A wind up ticker (alarm clock). LOL.

I expect a lot of charcoal drawings with all the coal you got this year, pal.

Hey, I know. Here's one for the newbies. You can use your new Christmas gifts for bonus points in your Pacer Olympic Event. Trace, start working on the medal, because Patch is got this one...well.

 

what's really frustrating is to get all 200 buttons undone and discover it was just a dry run...

 

you kill me patch glad you posted i missed ya buddy

dave

 

They could have given you a wet suit. The kind that zips up in the back.

Later,
Charlie