ever wonder
- what would happen if they wired your PM backwards
- what they do if you don't pay for your device
- whether romantic interludes show on the PM recorder
- what that laughter was while you were under sedation
- why Toyota sent you a recall notice for your device
- what that constant ticking sound you hear is
- If you give out before your battery what model they'll replace you with.

Just wondering

 

 

- well, that's easy. You would get heartburn from the other end.

-if you don't pay for your device, silly, they just force you to participate in their trials which include martians with really long probes.

-Romantic interludes ARE recorded by your device, but they just don't know what caused the erotic, uh, um....I mean, erratic heart rhythm. They're working on devices with built in cameras to help remedy this problem. Surely the FDA will approve them fairly quickly and give them as much attention as they do everything else.

-The laughter you heard while you were under sedation was because you caused a terrible uproar in the operating room. I thought your doctor told you this already, but probably didn't because he didn't want to embarrass you futher. When they tested your defibrillator, sparks came out of your a$$ that spread perfect little smoke rings flying all around the sterile room. Good thing everyone was gowned, gloved, and most importantly- masked.

-Toyota sent you a recall because your device company is using spare parts from their old Celica line, and were advised by their lawyers to send you a recall notice "just in case"

-that constant ticking is when your own heart is ticking without the help of your device, and people here thought you were heartless this whole time.....Jeesh...be careful on Valentine's Day.

-If you give out before your battery does than they just ship your body to some junk shipyard somewhere in the middle of the Arizona desert where you're traded in for the new blow up variety.

Disclaimer:
And all of this, as I'm sure you're aware, has been complete and total nonsense jibber brought to you by no other than yours truly, which in fact has not been verified for accuracy, but can almost guarantee that it was NOT written by George Carlin himself....or was it?

 

Thanks for the humor. The best medicine is a good laugh.........m