I've had it, all this time out wandering and still haven't been able to find my elusive sense of humor. I come back and find Smitty stole it. What else is there, what's the use. Maybe I'll end it all.

Anybody know how many refrigerator magnets I need to stick to my chest to stop the madness?

 

 

I'll bet if you ask, Smitty will share. He's a stand up guy. I'll give you some of mine but your wife might fuss.

(good to see you!!!!)

 

Hey Patch,

Young man, you must stop disappearing like this. You would be surprised at how many of us how been running around asking "have you heard from Patch?"

As for the number of magnets you will need, I can't tell you how many, but I can tell you 35 will not do the job. My wife was a little ticked off at me one night a few weeks ago and when I woke up I found that she had papered my chest with 35 refrigerator magnets, but I never noticed a thing. When I asked her about it she told she had been reading some stories on methods people have used to try to commit the perfect crime and the thought came to her mind to see if she could use magnets to stop my pacemaker. If it worked she would just remove all of them and call 911. She would tell the EMS people "the old buzzards heart finally stopped." She was really disappointed when I reminded her I'm not pacemaker dependant so the magnet trick will not work on me. I have now showed her the letter I sent our three sons in the event she gets anymore ideas about helping me vacate the premises by natural causes.

As for the funny stories, I have gotten a whole slough of those things lately but since most of them are not suitable for mixed company I'll see if I can find a few fit for your tender ears and send them to you by PM.

Take care and don't stay quiet so long again. It worries us.

Smitty

 

Sage words from the wise man. Tell your lovely bride thanks for the scientific research.

36 it is

 

Patch is back and the bantering between Smitty and Patch was missed!!!!!! Love the laughs!! Thanks guys!! Sue

 

So glad to see you back.

I've certainly missed you.

Pookie

 

but i do know that my favorite magnet to where is the one that says... today is not my day to please you... tomorrow is not looking very good either.

 

Hi Patch,................Smitty you had my wife rolling on the floor laughing.........."the perfect crime".........don't be giving any of these spouses any ideas.....

 

Good to see your back up to making people smile and bring a laugh or two, take care Patch.


Jim Of Pa

 

had concerts seats to elton john and we were on the floor about half way up to him. the base was so loud my heart was jumping and i felt apprenhensive. my husband also felt funny in his chest and i know he will be permanently deaf now. we left after three songs and returned to our hotel and watched a movie...lol...so much for two old people on a night out. anyone else ahd trouble with this. jessie

 

I had my surgery 4 days ago, pacer/defibb, and was doing some searches on pain. I just happened to come across this site. I believe god sends us what we need and what I really needed was the laughs I just got from the jokes. Just about wet myself laughing! LOL You guys (and gals) are just what a newbie like me needs to get through this. Bless you!
~Nora~