A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady,'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'.

'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'
The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'


It pays to be careful around old people.

 

 

Judy got married and had 13 children. Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer.

She married again, and she and Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.

Judy again remarried, and this time, she and John had 5 more children.

Judy died, after having 25 children.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they are finally together."

Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret, "Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?" Margaret replied, "I think he means her legs, Ethel . . . her legs"

 

frank

 

Gosh, how much did we need these 'funnies' today. I was just commenting on my email how all I get now is FB and email re: Prez. O/Government trash.

Thanks soooo much to all for 'posting' funnies. What is the saying, 'A Smile a Day Keeps the Dr. Away', oooops, no, no, no, 'An Apple a Day Keeps the Dr. Away' ~ ~ I love to laugh, smile, grin and cry from laughing. Tears of joy, fun and UNstress are good meds.

Thanx,
Carolyn G. in TEXAS ~ Hotter Than Haiti Today ~

 

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. '
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'