Hi Pacer Girl,
I've been reading your posts and can completely understand what you're going through. I don't care what anyone says but having a pacer implanted whether it be on an emergency basis or not is a life changing event.

You read articles and they all say oh it's nothing, you're in and out and it's done under a light anesthetic. But then you get home and say what happened and I think you're in a state of shock. I know I was. You have physical symptoms and may emotional symptoms you can't explain.

I don't think you ever get used to the fact you have this little machine in your body keeping your heart going. Oh yes you adjust to it and probably don't think about it a lot but I don't care what anyone says, you never get used to the fact it's there. And for the roller coaster of emotions? All normal!!! How can it not be when this was such a shock to your system physically and emotionally. I'm 9 months post implant and still have very bad days and I can't explain them other than belated post traumatic syndrome? All you can do is go with the flow and let the emotions happen. I think if you try to suppress them it will be worse. I was almost in denial over the whole thing but finally realized what happened and that's when my emotions started going nutty.

Don't know if where any of you live there are support groups but in Pennsylvania there are plenty of post heart attack support groups but none for pacemaker wearers. I even asked my cardiology group and all I got was a blank stare as if to say why would you need that? That didn't make me feel any better.

So I find groups like this are a blessing and make you feel as if you're not the only one going through this and you're not crazy for feeling this way.

I too want to thank you all for your wise advice and to pacer girl, you'll get through this and do things to fill your soul. Happy stuff - stay from any negative energy and you will start to feel better.

I wish I knew how to post a private message, daaaaa....can't figure it out but would love to be able to send some. Help???

Magster

 

 

Thank you for your message, I too go through some tough days. Had a couple days last week, where I could cry for no reason. I knoe that i have a device 24/7.
its hard to for get when it is in your way all the time.
I am going for another surgery 24th of this month, and its been real tough, waiting for it. I know I will have a lot of sore days ahead of me.Will keep everyone posted on my surgery. Will need a lot of prayers.
Thanks to all of you.You have been a lot of help. Drs don't explain anything anymore, seem to be in too big
of a hurry all the time. They run on a schedule, and don't want to be bothered.

 

Magster.
One way of posting a personal message is to go to the post of the persona and click on their red highlighted name. It will take you to their profile. On their profile you will see a little guy with an envelope toward the upper part of the page. Click on it and it will open up an email window. That's just one way. You can also go to the Member's List and type in pacr's name there and it will take you to her profile page. Make sure to check the box where you log in to see if you have been sent any "new messages".

Pacrgirl, you are a brave soul to write your feelings out for others to read. Thank you. Often times, our pride or fear prevent us from expressing our feelings when we really need help. For most of us, just writing messages here is a way of asking for understanding and help with overwhelmed senses. All to often people will cover up their fear,hurt or anger with wit and sarcastic humor. I'm sorry you haven't anyone there you can turn to who can understand what your going through and hold you. Magster, the same for you. Atleast we have this place to come together. Try to find a therapist or counselor locally who you can see to help process your feelings, both of you and anyone else who is reading this and feeling the same way. PTSD and if not alot of related emotions are hard to deal with alone. But remember...your not alone.

joy

 

Hello, fellow pacers.... Well the first hurdle is over. I went to the history class, introduced myself and smiled... it was a blast! Of course the prof. has underestimated me. I look like a sweet lady who never does anything but what she should be doing... hee hee.... I am a lot more than that. He smiled sweetly at me and he thinks I will not understand what he is talking about..... the American Civil War of 1860! Just when Lincoln was elected president. How the first battle came about at Fort Sumter. hee hee.... The story is amazing and look at what I already remember! Boy, this is going to be fun! My only regret is that I only get to go to 2 classes of each subject then the Dr. gets to go.
Now... about me.... I am feeling better today. I am pulling myself up... with the fantastic help of my pacer friends. THANK YOU! It was very therapeutic (sp?) just to put what I was feeling into words... and then no one laughed at me or said I was nuts. Well at least not in a post for all to read. hee hee... So my dear friends... I am feeling better. I'm not in the clear yet, but I am headed that way. It has been a rainy day here, but inside me I feel the sun coming out.. Bless you all,
love, Pacergirl

 

Pacergirl,
I'm 7wks post op and feeling the same feelings. If it weren't for TraceyE and Frank i don't know what i'd done. Finding this web site has been a blessing for me. The only advice i can give you is take things day by day. I don't have a lot of family left and with the exception of my son, everyone else thinks, the doctor said this is a simple surgery and no big deal, so therefore he said it so its so. I'm the only one in my family with a PM and they just don't understand how i feel, the emotions, the feelings of having something foriegn in your body and seeing it everytime you look in the mirror, or feeling it everytime you rub your chest. They just don't get it. I'm tired of hearing - the doctor said you should be fine by now. Yes physically but no one addressed the emotional side of this. Basically I've turned to God, and i'm not a church going person, but it sure has helped me. Today i went to the doctor and he gave me a clean bill of health ha ha. Don't get me wrong I'm happy that the PM is doing its job, but there are other issues. What i do for myself is HAVE FUN, what else can we do. Bless you pacergirl, it will get better. On the days its not come here and write a post. Love Debbie