I love to do work with audio, sadly my friend knows this and has come up with a great name for me now! All I get called by him is 'DJ Pacemaker'

 

By my estimation, we have 10,783 members. 10,781 of whom have stated categorically they have the top Cardiologist in the world. Who's the other member besides me whose doctor is at the bottom in Cardiology?

Enquiring minds want to know

 

During my abstinence, it looks like there was some discussion on Pacer Chicks packing heat.

If I may just add to the discussion, there isn't a male with a pulse who can look at the pacer chick pictures in the Member's Gallery and doubt that they all are packing heat.

Just my opinion, and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of management, or my handlers

 

HA! I thought Patch finally posted a picture of himself, but it was just HOODRIVERDUO. They say everyone has a twin out there somewhere......


Ya'll have a great day,
Angelie

 

Paul had a great idea! He went on to zazzle.com and created his own t-shirt to celebrate his pacemaker.

Here is mine. I hope you find it to be an optimistic view! If you like it...you can order one for yourself or for someone you love. Or have some fun and create your own!

http://www.zazzle.com/11949847661568287344heart_jon_phillips
_01_svg_m_tshirt-235026816238448781

I will be wearing mine with pride!

Hugs to everyone!

 

If you don't pay for your pacemaker and defibrillator implant bills, do they send a repo man/woman??

 

I wonder if this thing will interfere with our pacemaker's operation.

A simple solution to the controversy over full-body scanners has been invented. It is a booth that you step into and while it will not X-ray you, IT WILL DETONATE ANY EXPLOSIVE DEVICE YOU HAVE ON YOUR BODY.

This would be a win-win for everyone, and put an end to the crap about racial profiling!

 

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well known cardiligist in his shop. The cardioligist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc want to take a look at this?" The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, " So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its "heart" , took the valves out, repaired any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make only $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks $1,695,759 a year when you and I a...

 

If you are in the mood for a few grins, go to this site and listen

http://www.raystevens.com/main/index.htm

I will warn you that if you are a supporter of the fed health care program you probably will not like the song.

 

Hope this note finds everyone had a wonderful holiday season and all is well in your lives and you look forward to the New Year ahead.

I recognize there may be a statute of limitations on Christmas posts, but I’ve been going through intensive training to improve my dexterity and speed in the proper use of my Christmas gifts, which are absolutely crucial elements in their successful implementation, and had to type this post in the extremely limited time available. Well, there was that case involving syncope and house paint, but that’s another story entirely.

You’ve all had that well intentioned gift that was less than anyone’s expectations and have stories behind them, but I think the gifts I received from my family ...

 

Someone sent me this. Students made a music video and song about AV block. It's cute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVxJJ2DBPiQ

 

I'm busy putting up the tree today and thought it's December 1st so time to resurrect my favorite christmas story and post again this year. Hope you all enjoy it in the spirit intended
....

Four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which caused his ICD to go off, and stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the to...

 

Last night I unexpectedly had a stress test at home and believe me, It proved to be far more effective than any the medical profession has conducted on me to date. In fact, my heart rate shot up, I experienced arrhythmias, and that familiar pounding heart beat that can keep us awake. The heart accelerated at such a rate that I enjoyed several cardio-versions immediately followed by the big one ~ ZAP as voltage coursed through my body.

I was in bed, sound asleep when suddenly a hard object crashed into the top of my head and in that split second even before I awoke, my mind registered the sound of shattering glass. Then the shrill sound of a projectile whistling through the air at the speed of sound that sounded erilee lik...

 

Any guidance on the best settings for a defibrillator ?

My ICD is set at 36joules for defibrillation, but it seems to me that this is excessive jolt of juice. In two recent incidents after the defibrillator went off, the skin showed severe damage, was visibly burnt, and smoking. Anybody who has been exposed to these odors knows how offensive they are, not to mention the unsightly burnt skin.

Obviously this problem is very unsettling and annoying to say the least, and with the holiday season rapidly approaching in America the last thing I need is this type of disaster with a large gathering of friends and family. So I was hoping that someone here, maybe Frank or Smitty, anybody, could suggest a better setting for my ...

 

My 4 year old daughter and I were walking along and she stopped to bend down and pick up an M&M that was on the ground and was about to put it in her mouth. I told her to stop right away since we do not put things on our mouth that have been on the ground. She asked me why. I told her because things on the ground are dirty and have germs and once they are on the ground they should never go in our mouths. My daughter looked at me astonshied and said, "Mommy, how come you are so smart?" I thought for a minute and answered "Well, before we can become mommys we have to take a mommy test and all mommys know things like that." That seemed to satisfy my daughter's curiosity for the time being. We continued to walk along for a few minutes and she ...

 

My sister and I took our mother to the nursing home this morning. We left her there and planned on coming back tonight to see her. When we came back we asked her how was her day. She replied that when she would tip over to the left, the nurses would come and straighten her out. When she would tip over to the right, the nurses would come and straighten her out. She complained what the hell do you have to do around here to be able to make a fat?

 

Don’t tell me Doctors aren’t in it strictly for the money. They keep us alive until they’ve squeezed us for all our money by misdiagnosis and continuous repairs. If you doubt me then explain why so many people here have been brought back from the dead, but the doctor who performed the resurrection can’t even repair a simple electrical problem.

 

Anyone get up to watch the rocket hit the moon? Wasn't as spectacular as they predicted.

Actually, the scientific evidence was pretty good. They determined that the moon is indeed made of Swiss Cheese. Instead of pictures we needed audio: GLOOP

 

My new pacemaker came with a free one year subscription to OnStar, maybe that's why it's SO much bigger than the first.

Now I know why they call it a pacer Upgrade....

 

Haven’t been sleeping well for awhile and it’s been getting me down. Seemed like every time I’d fall asleep this noise that is difficult to quantify would wake me each night. Took time to trace the problem as it was intermittent and would cease once I was adequately awake to analyze the problem. So I’d be awake trying desperately to sort out the source of what I was hearing. Was it a prowler, in my mind, what. Gradually I’d fall back asleep only to be wakened again by the indefinable noise.

My neighbor saw me after about a month of restless nights and enquired as to why I looked worse than normal. When I described the issue to him, he immediately hit upon the source and corrective action for my night-time anxiety. He’s a plumbe...