Many realize that in 1879, Thomas A Edison successfully demonstrated the first electric light bulb, ultimately revolutionizing the world.

What few realize is his youthful engineering lab assistant named Frank developed the theory of the defibrillator later that same day when he stuck his finger in the light socket to see why the bulb ceased working.

And that my friends is how he came to be known as, you guessed it...ElectricFrank

Where else but the PaceMaker Club can you learn so much?

 

Old as Tarzan, but funnier.

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartende...

 

A little story to smile at:


As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know...

 

I realize a large number of you have pace makers, and may not be well versed in defibrillators, but perhaps somebody knows the answer to this...

A pace maker sends minor electrical signals to the heart muscle causing it to beat at a set rate when it detects that the natural function is not working properly, keeping the set speed necessary to sustain our lives.

A Defibrillator sends a shock to the heart when the beats either exceed a maximum rate or stops, hopefully returning the heart back to a normal rhythm.

So for those of us who use both the pace maker and defibrillator functions, if the pace maker function of our device fails, will the defibrillator shock it back to life?

 

I know this site is for the serious business of providing information about pacemakers. But I don't know anything about pacemakers and keep coming here to try and learn. In the meantime as payment for all I'm learning I thought I would try to make someone smile.

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car.' The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brough...

 

This is a Bill Cosby video that will enlighten you Yankees, Brits, and other folks of a little South humor. LOL

http://vbizmail.micrositemedia.net/ext_Template.php?l=1&a=32241&s=515271&t=6759&v=2775&p=17&c=23850

Enjoy, Bill T

 

Sooo, I'm pretty sure there are some teachers who think I'm homeless. Let me explain:

I got to school at 7:45 this morning for band. I tagged music in the music library (since I can't march) until 10 and then went to play for the upcoming freshmen. Then I hung around and talked to teachers and helped them move desks around. Then I read a little bit. Then I held a meeting for the local Congenital Heart Walk (also still at school, in the lecture hall). I finally left at around 3:30. All the while my chemisrty teacher kept asking me what I was even doing there in the first place...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That's how much of a life I lack.WEEEEEE!

 

We've all heard the stories of people who've been revived from near death experiences, only to report seeing a bright white light, luring them away to a peaceful serene new existence. Well my friends, I now know what that light really signifies.

A few weeks back, my lovely wife took much needed vacation from work, and we decided to share some leisurely time doing whatever came to mind, but focusing on some quality time together. Some of you may recall my journal entry about adopting two homeless beasts to add to my wife's growing herd, but that was another story. This paranormal event was spooky and shook me to my foundation. So much so, until now, I haven't shared it with anyone.

Tucson is blessed with two nati...

 

Headstone of Russell J. Larsen
in the Logan City Cemetery in
Logan, Utah

TWO THINGS I LOVE MOST,
GOOD HORSES AND BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN, AND WHEN I DIE I HOPE
THEY TAN THIS OLD HIDE OF MINE
AND MAKE IT INTO A LADIES RIDING
SADDLE, SO I CAN REST IN PEACE
BETWEEN THE TWO THINGS i LOVE
THE MOST.

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home,
who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you
laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust
and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woma...

 

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry all his purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?" The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this ...

 

I like your shout!! I'll keep it in mind next time I see the doc.

frank

 

This isn't really a joke, but...

Every time I hear the song "Ain't Gonna Tie Me Down" by New Boyz, I think fondly of George*.

*George is the shortened version of my pacemaker/ husband's name. His full name is Sir George Irving Bartholomew Ludwig IV.

 

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady,'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'.

'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'
The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'


It ...

 

Childbirth at 65!!

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

'May I see the new baby?' I asked

'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'

'No, not yet,' She said.

After another few minutes had elapsed,

I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'

'No, not yet,' replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.

'WHEN HE C...

 

Am I the only one here who didn't get fitted for their device. Seems they just grabbed one off the shelf and slapped it in me because it's way too big to be a proper "fit", it weighs way too much, it's ugly, and yet, I see numerous posts that you have all been fitted for your devices.

Guess that's what happens when you go to the lowest bidder for heart repairs

 

Hope you all enjoy this --- signs of things to come, if they'e not already here!!!

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them .

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people
around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two o...

 

I told my friends and relatives, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.' They got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine. They are SO on my list ...

 

Seniors enjoying life in Florida

**********************************************************
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, ’Are you a stranger here?’
He replies, ’I lived here years ago.’
’So, where were you all these years?’
’In prison,’ he says.
’Why did they put you in prison?’
He looked at her, and very quietly said, ’I killed my wife.’
’Oh!’ said the woman. ’So you’re single...?!’
*******************...

 

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and sai...

 

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle...

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of
a Crest View couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs
protruding from under the chassis.

Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand up his short...