how long is long enough

May of 07 i had an ICD implanted on the left, it became infected so we moved it to the right, the lead began pacing my diaphram so yet another chest opening for me. July of 07 my lead became loose my device was counting my heartbeat double and so I was shocked 24 times in about thirty minutes.so another ICD was placed on the right, this device caused swelling ond redness in my arm and neck, once again my chest was opened up and yet another device was implanted on the left. I am 13 days post-op 48 years old mother of 4, and my family is pressuring me to be 100%. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, cleaning, ect... I have two incisions in my chest about 5 inches long how long will my recovery take? you would think I would know by this time. I have major pain on both the left and right I don't know what to do as my husband has decided that my recovery time is up because he thinks so. I am terrified that I may be shocked again for no reason like before. what to do? also if there is a surgeon out there who long on the average does a surgical incision or incisions take to heal so a person can function at life?

6 Comments

Get rid!!

by sputnick - 2009-05-14 01:05:36

I would pack your husbands case and shove him out the front door, lock it, and sit down with a nice big drink and plan a future without somebody so disrespectful and insensitive!! Jan x

fear

by Tracey_E - 2009-05-14 02:05:28

Recovery has nothing to do with getting shocked. You'll be shocked if your heart goes too fast or pauses, that's unrelated to healing. That said... less than two weeks post op, you shouldn't even be considering laundry and cleaning yet unless you feel like it. Some people wake up feeling better, some take 4-6 weeks or longer, and given what you've been through you really should take it easy until you're not so sore. Overdoing it will just delay your recovery, not speed it.

Is your family's attitude coming from fear? If you're back to normal, they don't have to be afraid that you're not ok. Sometimes insensitivity is just an inability to deal with the fact that something is wrong with the person they love.

If they truly don't get it that you need more time to heal, get a specific list of restrictions from the doctor. Some doctors lay it all out, some just assume we'll use common sense and not do anything stupid so they don't specifically say what's ok and what isn't. Family may interpret that to be you can do anything.

Laundry is not a good idea because you need to keep your arm under shoulder level for 6 weeks until the leads settle in. Be careful putting dishes away, you shouldn't be lifting much for 6 weeks either, same reason. So, housework is ok but only if you're up to it and you're meticulous about keeping that arm down and not lifting.

Whether they're insensitive, clueless or simply sticking their heads in the sand because it's easier than accepting you're not ok yet, stand your ground if your family pushes. Let them cook or order take out, they can pitch in and do the cleaning. They'll survive this, just tune them out when they complain or push you. Sometimes even moms have to put themselves first, ya know? You need to come first for a while longer.

I know it's hard

by nat36 - 2009-05-14 03:05:41

I feel for you! We have four children also and I know how I tend to take care of everything for them. I have not been through what you have been through but I have been sick for over a year. I had a sinus node modification and SVT ablation about a month ago then was very sick afterward and had to have a pacemaker thirteen days ago. We had our surgery on the same day. They went under my muscle because of my age (32) and I only had a local so it hurt like crazy! I had a real bad reaction to the meds with the ablation so the doctor would not risk it again. I only have one incision but I am still very sore from that and the ablation also so I understand your fears completely. You don't want to do too much and end up in the hospital again. That would only prolong this even further! Explain that to your husband! Fortunately I have a husband that is understanding but I am sure that he is tired of me being sick. I am tired of being sick as I am sure you are! How old are your children? I have a sixteen year old and I am doing laundry and some cleaning but I will have her carry the basket to the living room instead of me carrying it and I make everyone come get their clothes and take them to their rooms, and lift anything that I can't. I am sure you are like me and need to feel like you are doing what needs to be done, but I had to realize that no one in my family is incapable of doing things for themselves! They just got used to me doing it for them! Please take care of yourself first! That is hard to do, I am still learning. Good luck to you and if you need to vent, send me a message! I will vent along with you!

Wow...

by Pookie - 2009-05-14 08:05:32

You're still healing. Give yourself a lot more time. Perhaps it's time for a family meeting to discuss a few things. Rest is key to your recovery.

Women have to learn to put themselves first once in awhile...and that time is now for you (in my opinion).

Housework? It can wait.

13 days post op.....with what you went thru, I'd be getting the family to tend to YOU!!!

Good luck.

Pookie

Spouse needs to get real

by mike thurston - 2009-05-14 12:05:08

Mountainmom,

You should take as long as needed. I have been through a lot but never been shocked (knock on wood).
13 days is certainly not a lot of time. I would think a minimum of 4 to 6 weeks to even start to feel like doing much. Being a male I think your husband needs to step up and organize the family to learn how to fend for themselves while you deal with your health. Maybe a couple of shocks with a dog collar would give them some perspective :) It is important not to rush the healing process both from a physical and a mental standpoint. Best of luck.

Is your husband a doctor

by walkerd - 2009-05-15 04:05:18

You have got to be kidding, right??? 13 days post op and your family including husband want you to do all the work, are they from the dark ages?? Like Tracey said get doc to put down in writing and doesnt your husband go to the doctor with you.
I feel for you I cant type really what I think on this subject and Im a man. All I can say is I pray for ya and holy sh)) you have got to be kidding.
If ya need to vent you can pm me Im a good listener
dave

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