Coping, not going so well
Hi, this isn't going to be happy so if you want a happy story please go to another post. I need to vent my feelings and no one else, and quite possibly some of you, will not understand.
I just now had my first look at my new scar. It is for me, heartbreaking. It appears that my skin is actually raised up and puckered towards one side of the incision! I have had more than 9 surgeries where my skin has been cut into and I have NEVER seen such a bad closure. The incision is maybe 2.5" long but on one side the last 3/8" is raised up and puckered to the point that it can be measured. It isn't flat like the other side or middle. it actually sticks out almost a 1/4" fold. If I were hemming a pant leg I would have to had to ease the fabric into the seam, If certainly wouldn't allow it to pucker and raise up like ripples! Good Grief! I can hardly type for the tears. What am I going to do? It is hideous! I don't want my husband to see me!!!! I have to go. I can't, I don't know what to do!
PG
11 Comments
{{{hugs}}}
by Tracey_E - 2010-03-12 10:03:07
Oh Susie!!!! It's WAY too early to make any judgments yet. Who knows what it will look like next week or next month or next year??? They always look awful the first few weeks/months. My new incision for my new lead is raised and red right now, ok but not great, but the old incision where they changed the battery looks like a purple zig zag zipper right now LOL. This is the 4th time on that incision, it always ends up flat and white by 6-8 mos so I'm not getting uptight about it just yet. It's been ugly before but always turned out ok eventually.
If it's closed up, you can start putting ointment on it to heal it faster. My plastic surgeon recommended the new stuff bandaid puts out. I've always used vitamin E.
Your husband worships you, he is not going to care what it looks like!!!!! You are beautiful inside and out, do not let this get to you. Wish I was there with you. Sending you a cosmo and one of my special chocolate Flakes that Loopy brought, those are like gold in this house (just ask my kids what happens if they even look at them sideways). Cosmos and Flake can fix anything. {{{hugs}}}
sorry to hear...
by pacy0320 - 2010-03-12 10:03:32
sorry to hear that you are so upset...try to stay calm and if it makes you feel any better, I have seen alot of scars and have seen them change quickly. Give it a few days and if you dont' see it changing for the better, call the doctor and go see him.
Sorry
by DanaT - 2010-03-12 11:03:50
WE all understand and screw the one's who don't. I'm sure your husband loves you more than that little scar of yours. I'm sure it's going improve A LOT over time.
Time to confront it directly
by ElectricFrank - 2010-03-13 02:03:24
Before you make life miserable for yourself talk to your husband about your feelings. Show him the incision and talk it over. As someone who had a wonderful relationship of 48 yrs with my wife until she died, this is what marriage is all about.
frank
Re: Pacer girl/scar
by LS - 2010-03-13 02:03:34
I'm sorry you're feeling so down about your scar. Give it time, & I'm sure it will ease out & look better. If not, I imagine your hubby will love you just the same & won't even care about it. We are always the hardest critics on ourselves!!
Mine is a war wound. It's a war I won & am continuing to win.
{{{}}} to you,
Liz
Re: to ElectricFrank
by LS - 2010-03-13 02:03:55
You are always so wise & have such compassion for everyone. I enjoy your posts.
Thank you, you're a blessing to many.
Liz
Give it Time
by Bionic Man - 2010-03-13 10:03:42
Hi Pacer Girl,
Sorry you're feeling so down. I remember looking at my scar for the first time and being shocked at how bad it looked. It sounded a lot like yours. After a while the ridges smoothed out and now it's hardly noticeable. Give it some time. When I look at it now it reminds me how far I've come. Try not to let it get you down. It will fade and then you'll hardly notice it.
Bob
Huggs to you sweetie!
by heartu - 2010-03-13 11:03:03
In the back of my mind when I look at my scar, I think ugh!!!! Then I look at the scar I have from my c-section and I remember how I felt about that one almost 16 years ago.
Now, when I look at that scar I think how I was blessed with a beautiful healthy baby girl. With my new pm scar I will remember how I am still here to see my baby celebrate her 16th birthday next month.
Hugs to you PG, let out the tears and then look at your scar with a renewed outlook. As to your husband, I just know how I look first thing in the morning and my husband still thinks I am gorgeous. That says a ton!
Thanks!
by ElectricFrank - 2010-03-14 01:03:29
I make sure to look in the mirror with compassion fairly often. LOL
Life is fun.
frank
scars
by jessie - 2010-03-14 03:03:42
my scars are many. lol 2 hip replacements at 59...two old way caesareans and of course my p.m. i sure don't like getting into a bathing suit but i do..i sure like looking at those two babies i birthed many years ago..i have also not mentioned my two grandchildren who continue to amaze me..i guess what i am saying is that no it isn't the greatest if you are going into a beauty contest but of course thoose years are gone for me..lol..not that i would have ever won. at first i was appalled at the scars...then as time goes by and your focus changes it becomes part of who you are...i know you to be a very wonderful human being and also a talented one...i suck at graphic arts..you are gifted.hope this helps susan hugs jessie xxxooo
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Emu Oil
by JessiWay - 2010-03-12 10:03:02
I am so sorry that you are struggling! Tracey is right, it may end up better than you are thinking! Try to stay positive, love. I am using emu Oil & Vitamin E. Emu Oil is more easily absorbed into the skin that any other. I apply it 1st, then the Vitamin E. I hope you feel better soon! take care! (((hugs)))
~Jessi