Boyfriend Having Surgery

Hello


My boyfriend (now 28) has had a pacemaker since a very early age. He is to go into surgery in a few weeks as his pacemaker has migrated and become very superficial (it looks like it could pop out any second).
My question is, should I attend the sugery (it is taking place 3 hours away) or should I not?
He has mentioned to me that this is just a standard procedure and I have nothing to worry about. His father will be travelling with him but he says to me that I will be extremely bored and again, its 'nothing to worry about'. I am a nurse and would like to be there for him at this time. I want to be a supportive girlfriend and help him stay positive through this.

This is not a major decision; I would appreciate any feedback, advice or suggestions.

Thanks in advance.

5 Comments

Support

by jimmy412 - 2009-07-22 02:07:01

It is always nice to come out of surgery and have people that you love there waiting to greet you and see how you are doing. IMHO I would say to go. Hospitals are so lonely anyways, give him your company as well as his father being there.

Hello

by Christmmpace - 2009-07-22 02:07:46

Hi,

I just wanted to say that I commend you for being so supportive to your boyfriend. It's very nice to see your concerns toward your boyfriend's heart condition. I encourage you to go with him and support him all the way. It doesn't matter how much he says that it's a simply procedure, it's still a serious issue when dealing with the heart. My advice to you is you should go and be there when he wakes up. Take care and I'll keep you and your boyfriend in my prayers, tell him we said, hello and get well soon!

Check back and let us know how he's doing!

Take care,
James

I just had mine put in

by COBradyBunch - 2009-07-22 03:07:15

I just had mine put in and I will say the following:

If your boyfriend is adamant about you not being there and his dad is going along for the trip (which makes me think two things, this is being done more than a short drive from home and that maybe he and his dad have other plans for the trip, like it is their time to be together since they have probably been through it before) that you should respect his wishes.

I know I have had knee surgery before (twice) where I told my wife I would rather she not hang around (in fact for all three of my surgeries I specifically told people just give me a ride to and once I took a cab home). It is boring, painful and some people just want to be left alone during that painful/hazy time in the recovery room and you feel obligated to try and talk to visitors. My wife was there when I went to and came out of pacer surgery but it was 5 minutes from our house and since it was so sudden and very scary for her (my syncope episode happened while the two of us were sitting at the kitchen table and she thought the worse when it did and two days later, with no previous history or indications I was getting a pace) I did it for her.

He will let you know if he wants you there. If not, respect his wishes.

Guys will be guys

by Tracey_E - 2009-07-22 03:07:46

Some guys just like to hibernate and avoid us until they're feeling more macho again. You are supporting him by making the offer, it's up to him whether or not to accept it. Go with what he wants, and try not to take it personally if he doesn't give you the answer you want.

And yeah, it is really is a standard procedure. ;o)

Some people can be annoying

by johnb10000 - 2009-07-22 11:07:36

I had a ablation last week and have two brothers that live a thousand miles away.

I told my brothers that I will be in the hospital for one day for an ablation and there is no need to waist money on airfare to come and visit. For one brother it was easy to explain the procedure and why he didn't need to worry.

My other brother didn't come and visit but he is getting very annoying. He worries way too much. I told him the the procedure was last a few hours and I will be in a hospital room later that evening. He called a couple of times that evening even though I told him there is nothing to worry about. He called every day after the operation and sent an email about every day even though there is nothing to worry about.

I am glad he didn't come to visit because he would drive me crazy. I normally talk to him once every two months.

Next time I will use the word procedure instead of operation.

I am a guy that likes to hibernate so I took a cab to the hospital and got a ride back.






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