getting better

I've recently begun to realize that I am actually starting to "feel" better. The only problem with this is that I am still banned from driving, and probably will be until November. Don't get me wrong, from a safety standpoint I get it, I understand...it just doesn't make it any easier. I'm not married, and having to rely on others for this basic necessity has gotten more than just a little bit annoying, I feel like I have to justify everything that I ask to do, and I have to "ask" to do everything that I need/want to do. There is no public transit within 10 miles of where I live so that is not an option (nor is there taxi service), and please, I am not allowed to ride a bike either, so I really have no options. I'm trying to get better for real, and I'm trying to live, but it took me sooo long to figure out that I even felt better because I feel like such an invalid not being able to drive.

Any ideas on how to get through this?

3 Comments

I don't drive either

by Pookie - 2010-03-24 02:03:00

Hi justme!!!!!!!

I got my pacer when I was 42 (Nov 2/04) and on Friday I will be 48 and ever since January 11, 2005 I had to give up the car keys. It completely sucks. Having to quit my job was the hardest though, losing the social contacts is/was hard. But life is life. Sure I get upset about it from time to time, but I try and focus on things that will make me happy. I'm not perfect at doing this, and some days just suck because I want to be able to go out and do what others take for granted, but it is what it is.

No doctor told me to give up driving, I took it upon myself as a safety concern for me and others on the road NOT to ever drive again because I still have dizziness ~ daily. I had passed out at the wheel on January 11 - it was amazing I didn't hurt myself or anyone else.

I do, however, have bus service. Actually, the bus stop is literally at my front lawn!!! but I choose not to take the bus either because I'm still not to the point where I feel comfortable to go many places by myself.

Only a couple of weeks ago did I get my husband to drop me off at a clothing store and ask that he leave me shop - he left me his cell phone which gave me a bit of added security. I have many more medical issues than just my heart so that is why I'm still so paranoid, but I'm forcing myself to get out more even if it's just down to the bottom of my street so I can shop at our local pharmacy.

I can totally understand you situation. The only suggestion I have is you will have to depend on family and friends, what other choice do you have??? I know how you feel always having to ask people to help and feeling like an invalid...I too feel like that sometimes.

Just try and turn the situation around....if you had a friend or family member that was in your situation, you would be more than willing to be their chauffeur until they were able to drive again...that's what friends & family are for....right?

I guess my only suggestion is to try and focus on things that you can do and not the things that you cannot. Nothing lasts forever and perhaps some day you will be able to drive again.

Take care,
Pookie

tough one!

by Tracey_E - 2010-03-24 12:03:02

Being stranded makes it really hard!! I'm glad to hear you're feeling better, tho. Have you checked with the public transportation for additional services? We have buses and trains that run but we also have vans and smaller buses that pick up the elderly and handicapped who can't get to a bus stop so they don't get stranded at home. It picks them up and takes them to a bus or train stop.

Don't feel bad about asking for help! If you had a friend in the same situation, would you think twice about helping out? I know I'd be hurt if one of my friends was stuck home and wouldn't ask me to help.

Another idea. Have you thought about a temporary roommate? Maybe a college student you could trade a bedroom for driving you around?

thanks

by justme - 2010-03-26 01:03:30

We have para-transit that will pick you up at your house...sounds great, right? Only they won't pick me up becasue I'm "not really disabled" I just can't drive becasue of my heart and that's "not a disability." Yay, how fun is that?
I live with my parents and have been the one to drive everyone everywhere in the past. Currently there is only one person in my family (including extended) that can drive, and there are like 5 adults who cannot drive. I also had to quit several of my jobs b/c I just cannot get there and can't handle the stress of not being able to do my job to the best of my ability.
I'm always the person who drops everything for other people, and a couple of people have been very kind with their assistance in transportation, but all of my friends live on the other side of the city which is 30+ miles from my house, so it's not like just asking for a quick ride somewhere, it involves a 2 hour commitment to come pick me up and drop me off plus whatever the stop is that I need to make. Yes, I would do it for them, but I've found in this past year that I really don't have a lot of "friends".
I also can't stand the constant chaperone either. Sometimes I just want to go to a store and go shopping by myself, I don't want someone following me around and commenting on everything that I look at or what I buy or how much I'm spending or make me feel guilty that I'm looking at something that isn't an absolute necessity and wasting their time. Like seriously, I'm 30, maybe I'd like to have some time to myself out in the world.
I know I'm just complaining, but it's just really getting to me after 9 months. When this started I was told it was going to be 6 weeks and I nearly had a heart attack with that time frame, and it just keeps getting longer and longer and I keep feeling more and more irrelevant. My whole life has changed and I'm nowhere near where I planned to be right now and the financial strain is horrid...b/c I also don't "qualify" for social security disability payments so when I had to quit my jobs it was a big deal. I just want to get on with life. I want to be back at the top of my game and not just a bystander. And I feel like this heart stuff isn't "over" like my moment of feeling better is just the calm before the next storm. Yes, I'm just venting.
thanks for listening :-)

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