Afraid to sleep

Last post was about the tingles....still have them. Heart monitor watch says my resting heart rate is 54 give or take....pm set to fire at 50....afraid to close my eyes...afraid I may die in my sleep.

I am not getting used to having the pm. Only been 3 weeks but I think about it constantly.

Was at the ER already once this week but no tingles at the time...scared.

Someone...advice....please...

9 Comments

Fear

by ElectricFrank - 2009-10-03 01:10:01

Having a pacemaker implanted seems to make us more aware of sensations in the chest and heart. Actually, we are probably less likely to die from some minor arrhythmia than someone without a pacer.

One thing you may encounter if you stay awake during the night is the pacemaker running its self test. During the minute or two that it is checking itself it may cause your heart to skip beat or two, and then race at a faster pace. It is usually programmed to happen sometime during the night when you are asleep. There have been a number of newbees here on the forum that have had the test scare them out of their wits until they found out about it. The doctors don't seem to tell people about it.

The problem is that we aren't totally rational beings when it comes to the fear of dying. I could give you all sorts of reasons why not to worry, but...

For me it has become a matter coming to terms with my own mortality. Some day sooner or later it will happen. In the meantime I'm enjoying myself.

NOW, if you aren't already asleep, go to bed and enjoy a good nights sleep,

frank

make peace

by papaknight - 2009-10-03 01:10:26

make peace with the fact that you havbe the deviceinside you and be confident it will wor for you. Having said that< learn what your device is supposed to do for you and how to know if there is a problem with the device. Ask for a complete set of records each time you go for and compare them withe last ones. If something doesn't match, ask why and make sure you undertstand the"why" when you leave the office. Youe health care personnelare doing their best for you but do not trustanyone working for the device manufacturer..get it in writing. Here hoping you never need the thing anyway. best of luck and God bless
papaknight

family dr.

by jessie - 2009-10-03 04:10:50

just remember how safe you really are like frank says. if this persists you may want to visit your family dr. to request sl. pills to establish a sleep pattern again. i know it si easier said than done.jessie

normal feelings

by Tracey_E - 2009-10-03 06:10:04

It's very normal to think about the pm all the time when it's new! Esp when the house is quiet and you're in bed at night with nothing to do but feel your heart beat. It should go away with time. Ditto what Frank said, you are much safer now than you were without it, that's reason to sleep better. The pm will not let your hr dip dangerously low while you sleep.

I know it's hard, but try not to be in the habit of counting your heartbeat all the time and wearing the hr watch. It just makes you think about it more. If you have symptoms, go ahead and count your pulse but if you feel ok, try to resist the urge.

The best thing you can do is get back to your regular life. As you get busy and active again, as you learn to trust that the pm is always there for you and you see that you feel better, the thoughts will gradually subside.

Mind Control

by donb - 2009-10-03 08:10:11

Hi, just thought I'd add my experience. My mind won't allow me to get an accurate HR reading. That is if I think about it as I'm checking pulse feeling my wrist, looking at my heart monitor watch, or simply seeing my pulse in my vein in my elbow. I will get skips always, but only if i visually monitor. Also I'm not alone with hearing my pulse in my left ear. Again when I concentrate on it while trying to get to sleep, there's the induced skips. Ya, this guy is nuts!!! Well tell me why I'm not alone on this one? Every time someone else checks my rthym, no skips!! When you get tensed up, get someone else to check your HR while you put your mind on something else. DonB

Paranoid for 6 months

by Hot Heart - 2009-10-04 01:10:28

Hi there, I do understand how you feel,I was really scared at first and was sitting up in bed, constantly taking my pulse, just not apppreciating that the pacemaker had made me safer than I was previously. I think that this is a common reaction and as time goes by you will relax more.

HH

Mind Effect

by ElectricFrank - 2009-10-04 12:10:23

I've found that just putting my finger on my wrist and paying attention the pulse will often stop a run of PVC's.

When someone asks me if I am practicing Mind over Matter, I say "No, but Mind Matters" G:

frank

Thank You

by wenditt - 2009-10-05 10:10:24

After that post, I had a long talk with my husband. I kind of my made my own verbal will as far as what I wanted and didn't want with my daughters life etc... I really thought that I just couldn't live like this anymore. I would not say I was suicidal....never actually. But so desperate for sleep and so desperate for something/someone to "make it all better." I have no idea what that would have been...I just know I was desperate for it.

Frank is right. I fear mortality. I am finally aware that I am going to die one day, that I almost did and that I don't want to die anytime soon.

Right after that all to real conversation with Erik...it started pouring outside. Raining so hard you would think your windshield was breaking with the pellets of water. I sat by the window and just thought:

That I have a daughter who needs to know me. That I am 33 but have been with my husband for 15 years and we have 50-60 yet to go. That when I am 36, he and I will have been together for half our lives!

So I decided that I don't want Amelia to model her behavior after a scared, frightened woman/crazy person! That I want to enjoy Erik's company, our marriage, our child before I look back and it was gone. And I want Erik to have a completely sane wife! LOL...

So I got up to wash it all off! LOL....I got up, went outside and stood right there on the brick walkway...right in the rain. I tilted my head back and let the spatters smack me in the face, run down my face....I washed away some fears for the night.

The splatters hurt, they stung a little, they were unpredictable. They were fast, they made me scared to look. Kind of like life.....

When I went to bed, I snuggled up to the window so I could hear the rain. I grinned, prayed I could sleep for one night...and closed my eyes.

I've removed the watch, and have been sleeping "better" ever since.

Thank you everyone. I really need this site. And I really need all of you. It's very cathardic for me to talk it out.
Thanks for always readying, responding and sending helpful hints my way.

Sleep tight,
Wendy

good for you!

by Tracey_E - 2009-10-07 03:10:55

I'm so glad to hear you had your lightbulb moment and got some sleep!

You know you're wired when...

You run like the bionic woman.

Member Quotes

I am just now 40 but have had these blackouts all my life. I am thrilled with the pacer and would do it all over again.