Panic and Anxiety

I've come here before...for the same reason. And I'm sorry that I'm coming here again....just have nowhere else to turn.

I'm having PAC's, still on Xanax and still scared to death. I've come to figure out my tingling hands and feet are from hyperventilating due to the fear.

I feel cripled with fear since the pacemaker was implanted. I know it's there to help but I am more worried now that ever before. I've been praying everyday...everytime I close my eyes to sleep.

I have a 19 month old daughter who shouldn't see her mother like this. I have a husband who tries to help but has no idea how to.

I just cry now...and wish for it to all go away...all the fear and anxiety. I just want it to all go away.

Has anyone tried therapy after their pm? Is anyone as scared as I am?

This is not the way I want to be feeling...especially during the holiday season but I just can't seem to shake it.

Thanks for listening.

10 Comments

A thought

by ppt - 2009-12-12 10:12:23

Am so sorry you are so anxious. It can not be much fun at all. . and I truly am sorry you have this to deal with. Have you tried really truly asking yourself what if you didn't have the pacemaker? Your family needs you..and if you do not take care of you then you are not in a position where you can take care of your family. Also ask yourself "What is the worst thing that can happen with my PM?" What do you fear the most? Then confront that fear and ask if that fear is really realistic or not. Hope this helps some...

Panic & Anxiety

by Pookie - 2009-12-12 10:12:45

oh dear,

yes, yes, yes, I've been where you are. I prayed each night that I wouldn't wake up the next day. It took me a long time to get over having my pacemaker, mind you I had a lot of complications, but regardless, just having a pacer can rattle one's being to your very core. For some of us, it is life changing, for others they don't miss a beat and continue on. everyone is different. please don't be so hard on yourself. give yourself some time.

Your pacemaker is a good thing, eventually you will believe in that. I promise.

I went to counselling and still do. I have numerous other medical issues so my plate is very full.

I too was on something similar to Xanax and still am. It takes the edge off.

I was SO scared too.

PLEASE seek help. It will take time to get through this, but YOU WILL. we all go thru it at different speeds.

If EVER you need just to vent please feel free to email me on here or at pookiegoof@yahoo.ca

I've been where you are. I know what it's like. You need to be able to speak to someone.

And don't apologize for coming here, that is what we are here for...to support YOU.

Hugs,
Pookie

What I fear most...

by wenditt - 2009-12-12 11:12:08

What I fear most is dropping dead while being home alone with the baby because she and I are alone so much....because my husband works so much. I nightmare that I will be laying there dead and she will be crying because I am dead....and my husband finds us hours and hours later.

My father died of a sudden heart attack at the age of 50 in my living room on Thanksgiving. So for me....this is a very realistic fear.

I have been thru many tests and they say because my father didn't have an autopsy there is no way to tell for sure how he died but all the indicators led to heart attack or blood clot.

The doctors tell me I am healthy and fine and not on the same path as my dad. However, my father had just completed a full medical physical and he came out in top shape as well.

I just don't know how to deal with this....the fear and the issue of my own mortality. I am thankful everyday that I made it thru another day but I am most afraid of leaving my daughter and having her go through what I did....

Your not alone

by Philman - 2009-12-13 01:12:00

Been there done that with the "Xanax".........Tapering off is important as this drug will become highly addictive if you are on it for too long a time. The withdrawal symptoms can lead to anxiety, heart palpatations, and an enormous list of other side effects. It is important to find a doctor who will work with you through other meds and methods. There are many benzodiazapine support groups on the internet...

In the mean time try cal/mag in the evening and fish oil during the day. Keep a diary of food you have eaten and how they effect your moods. MSG can create all kinds of heart "flutter" as does coffee and alcohol. Your PM is there to protect you, love it and live with it. Don't let the" fear"of the problem create the problem.

Good Luck
-Philman

Turn it around

by pacer30bob - 2009-12-13 01:12:33

I too have panic disorder and once I knew I needed a PM and found out how long a pause I had while sleeping and my doc suggested a PM within a few days I was anxious I wouldn't wake up before I got the PM. The day of the operation I was up early and happy to be there so I was a bit anxious during the procedure but happy to check my pulse going to bed and knowing it won't let my ticker stop ticking for 3-4 seconds again.

Turn it around. . .if you didn't have the PM then think how anxious you would be. Also maybe on your next visit to your doc, tell them about your PAC and ask them to turn the PC off for a few minutes . . .bet you'll still feel OK and it will help you overcome the PAC about the PM.

NewPacer

Ditto about Xanax

by ted - 2009-12-13 05:12:13

Please harken to Philman's comments. Xanax probably causes more problems than it alleviates. Xanax was never meant to be taken for more than a few weeks, but people keep taking it forever and are quickly addicted. There are many better ways to deal with life than by taking benzos. Try to talk to a doctor who is not a pill pusher and your anxiety might disappear. Good luck.

Hi Wenditt.

by Gellia2 - 2009-12-13 09:12:08

Isn't it awful when fear grips you and you don't know which way to go?

I have nothing I can add to all that have spoken here except to tell you I have been where you are and passed through. It will happen.

I have had a pacemaker for over 34 years. It has kept me alive all that time.....faithfully, whereas I wouldn't be here without it. (total HB)
It has SAVED my life so that I was able to watch my children grow.

Your pacemaker has taken care of the problem that could have caused all your fears. All the things you fear...your pacemaker will not let happen. Trust it.
If you can out your faith in your little machine that it will do its job, just as mine has for all this time, you will find that your fear will melt away. Your little machine won't let happen what you fear most.

When I would feel the panic wash over me, I would get up, take a deep breath and walk around. That helped break the PVC's I, too, would get.
Time will help also. Give yourself a chance to get to know your pacemaker and how it works for you. Knowledge is Power and can chase away fear and panic.

When it comes....reread all that is written here. We ALL know how you feel. I doubt there is anyone of us that hasn't had the feeling of panic and fear grip us.
BUT, our little machines are faithful and do work. They are there to PROTECT you from the very reality of your panic.

Let it work and rest your mind. This too shall pass, as you learn to trust in its steady beat.

In the meantime, we are all here for you.
Hang in there, Wenditt, and be with NO FEAR.

Gellia

okay

by jessie - 2009-12-13 12:12:24

all i can say is go to your family dr. ask him to help you. maybe he can give you something to help. also reassure yourself each time you will be okay. it is funny how it works eventually. like a mantra and you calm down. keep doing this. i will be thinking of you and hoping you feel better. jessie if you do this in time the anxiety will disappear.

Trust

by roadbiker - 2009-12-13 12:12:56

Your Dad didn't get the chance to have a pacemaker. YOU DID! Trust that Your Higher Power has given you a life line and there is a reason for you to go on. Then spend as much of your time thanking him for ALL that you have. Greatfulness will overcome fear if you practise it ALOT. RS

You've got to stop making things worse...

by BCase - 2009-12-13 12:12:56

Wenditt,

You've got to stop making things worse by your anxiety. You've got to try to take control of your emotions and talk youself down to a calmer level. Why? Because anxiety makes cortosol in the body and that becomes adrenaline, and that chemical (adrenaline now coursing through your blood stream) is the exact same medication that the cardiologist give to patients undergoing an ablation inorder to induce a cardiac arrhythmia so they can map it and ablate it.

If you are unable to help yourself with your anxiety, then you need counseling ASAP. There are plenty of anti-anxiety methods, and medications...but I would far prefer the methods.

The body's NATURAL response to PACs is fear. You've got to repeatedly tell yourself that it's okay -- PACs are okay. You're not going to die from a lot of PACs.

As many have told you above, your PM is there to help.

Foremost, you've got to get control of your anxiety and stop your body from producing excessive cortosol....leading to adrenaline..

As I said in my last post to you in the PAC message above, I try listening to my PACs with a stethoscope. Its a toy-like costume stethoscope for a few dollars but it works nice. I don't know why, but listening clearly to those PACs calms me down. Maybe it will help you, too.

BCase

You know you're wired when...

Your device acts like a police scanner.

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