1 MoNtH tOdAy!
- by JessiWay
- 2010-03-23 11:03:01
- Surgery & Recovery
- 1491 views
- 6 comments
Yipee! I made it one month. What a ride!
I have felt so many different emotions in this 1st month.
Shock- being told I had 2nd degree heart block that would surely get worse & could even turn to 3rd degree heart block...being told I needed a pacemaker. Those were both very hard for me. I was in denial for a bit...I went as far as to convince myself I really didn't need it. I could live without it. The doctor's could be wrong...maybe it wouldn't get worse.
Fear- of something going wrong during surgery, fear I could die during surgery, fear of having the PM put in & not feeling better, fear of a scar on my chest...fear my husband would find it unattractive...fear of people staring at me, fear of a PM under my breast... fear of having my bikini line waxed before the EP study, fear of the EP study causing more problems...fear, fear, fear! Fear made me miserable! There has been fear since the PM was implanted and will most likely be more, but I try to remind myself that it is almost always irrational & it never leads to anything positive. This site and doing research have alleviated so much fear!
Excitement- about there being a possibility that I would feel better, that I would be able to play with my boys...that I could feel like a mom again, not like I was watching them live their lives from the sidelines. Excitement about being warm, about my cheeks not tingling, about my toes not falling asleep...about running again, doing yoga, pilates, about exercise-oh, how I missed exercising! Being able to drive...not fainting! Oh, how glorious to be able to take myself to the grocery store!
Regret- that I didn't have the PM implanted behind my breast (I'm still a bit torn on this one)
Sadness- that I will never be able to arc weld
Strength- for doing what I never thought I could do and coming out on the other side!
I just realized I am almost late for a tanning appointment, its been a ride, fro sure! I love you all!!!
~Jessi
6 Comments
Great
by ElectricFrank - 2010-03-24 02:03:40
Glad it all is going well. Strangely, a pacemaker for block is actually a minor thing. Maybe it's because I'm an electronic engineer and understand the little beast.
I'll take a pacer any day to a knee replacement.
By the way, while I wouldn't want to be involved in commercial arc welding, with a little care in cable orientation it can be done. I've stood right next to the control box, power cable, and motor on my Jeep winch which draws 300A surge during starts or heavy pulling. Never has bothered me any. I'm 100% dependable on the pacer so I would know it if it caused a problem.
best,
frank
WOOTWOOT
by brooke1803 - 2010-03-25 07:03:33
Congrats on 1 month sweety!!! isnt it lovely to play with the boys rather than watch?? I cant wait till i start feeling better. I dont think i will miss the whole arc welding thing...or changing of an alternator.... so its not a biggie..however the bulge in my chest is a lil bothersom....BUT i am sure the more I get to know you...and listen to your acomplishments..andstart having my own, I will not be so bothered by it anymore. I am sooo glad we have become friends!! Love ya doll!! And heres too 100 more yrs with that PM making life better and better.
Yea!
by bini - 2010-03-25 07:03:38
It's great that you are looking forward to things you will be able to do again. I got my PM for an illness that caused me to faint all the time. Now I am doing things I haven't done in so long like working out at the gym..and studying to become a personal trainer.
Things will get better each day. It is a hard adjustment in having something foreign implanted in your body.
I am 33 yrs old and had a hard time having something slightly sticking out of my body. It took some time to get used to, but now I forget that it's there. I still wear my tank tops and Vnecks, and I joke with my husband that he is extra lucky, since I have 2 beating hearts for him :)
Christine
You know you're wired when...
Youre a battery-operated lover.
Member Quotes
I have a well tuned pacer. I hardly know I have it. I am 76 year old, hike and camp alone in the desert. I have more energy than I have had in a long time. The only problem is my wife wants to have a knob installed so she can turn the pacer down.
It is tough!!
by bowlrbob - 2010-03-24 01:03:35
All of the fears we fear. But the one that got me the most was the same as yours. Not being able to arc weld is a real bummer. As was cutting my NFL career short. It had nothing to do with being in my 60's when I got my PM. Well I have gotten over it now with 4 years of therapy. NOT the therapy I got was from my wife telling me to get off my dead a--. Works every time. I feel great. So will you. Congrats on a month. Bowlrbob going on 5 years.