Exercise + 100% paced ???

• by Angelie
• 2009-01-29 10:01:52
• General Posting
• 1196 views
• 4 comments

Ya'll,
Pardon me, and have mercy, for I don't mean to always repeatedly whine about the same thing.
It seems that I always ask the same questions, but I looked through my recent posts and couldn't find anything. I have memory lapses, plus I talk to myself a lot so it's hard for me to track if I really posted a question, or if I was just day dreaming.
what can I say?....
A good friend of mine has caused me to think seriously about my options, and it's causing me to reevaluate my cards.
I'm at a place in my health where I have some very difficult decisions to make. It's either one way or the other, and once I step off there's no going back. I really feel like I'm dangling on the edge of a cliff, and I can either jump off, or limp back down.
Although I like to think that I've always had a choice, I'm quickly running out of them, and sometimes the lack of control in my welfare is, to me, is very unsettling.
Some of you might not think of it as a big deal, but becoming completely dependent on a pacemaker is not something I ever imagined for myself. I, honestly, don't like being dependent on anything whatsoever, let alone a piece of high tech metal to tell my heart when to beat. I don't know about ya'll, but it's scary as hell to me.
One thing that might help me come to grips with my looming future, is feeling somewhat reassured that being 100% pacer dependent does not necessarily equal disability. Can I still run, exercise, and be active? What do all ya'll 100%'rs do? Please I promise this will be the last time I ask.
I don't know what I would do without this group. People can say all they want, but this place sure as heck has helped me. Ya'll were there for me before my pacemaker implant so that when it finally came time for me to have one implanted I was comfortable with the idea and it was really no big deal to me. I even had a blast during my implant procedure. I would not have been that peaceful with the whole ordeal if not for ya'll.
Out of everything that this place offers, the most I get out of it is reassurance. I mean, that's what a "support" group is all about, eh?
When it comes time for me to jump off that cliff, I'd like to be able to soar and NOT falter. (Isaiah 40:31)
I was just wondering if there's anything, or anyone out there that can get through this thick, stubborn skull of mine.

Thanks ya'll so much, and I promise this is it.
Angelie