Fear of Failure
Hi Everyone,
I had my pacemaker 2 weeks ago and this is my second post! Sorry for posting again so soon, but I'm really struggling. After the procedure I was suffering from tachycardia (me, not the pacemaker, which is just a back-up for second degree block). But now I'm pretty sure I'm being paced most of the time because the drugs for my fast heart rate are dropping my heart rate to 60 and increasing my heart block, which is when the pacemaker kicks in.
I'm now terrified that the pacemaker won't work/lead will break. I wasn't worried until I was aware the pacemaker was probably working a lot of the time. It's really making me panic, which doesn't help with the fast heart rates!! Any advice really appreciated!
Thanks,
Genie
8 Comments
I understand
by wenditt - 2010-04-12 06:04:39
Hi Genie,
I understand how you feel. And I am sorry you are having such a tough time. But when people here tell you it will take time to "trust" believe them....you are now a work in progress....just like a lot of us.
It's normal to worry, it's normal to feel anxious, it's normal to be scared. It would be normal if you "got over it" tomorrow, and it would be normal if you "get over it" a year from now. Everyone is different. Some take a little more time to get used to the idea than others. I am 7 months post implant and still having a hard time. But I am getting there...I am a work in progress.
I told my doctor over and over again that I was having a hard time. He reached out to another one of his patients so that I could talk to her face to face. This site is amazing, but seeing someone face to face did something a little different with me. It gave me a little more courage. I only met her once, and I haven't spoken to her since but I know I can call her if I need too. Perhaps that is something you could look into.
Also, I wonder if you could benefit from some therapy. For some, a good sounding board can do the trick.
Whichever path you choose, or whichever one God sends you on....you will make it through the woods....we all will.
Wishing you well,
Wenditt
Newbie
by Blueaustralia - 2010-04-12 06:04:53
Welcome. There are others on this site who can explain things technical better than me but you seem to be having anxiety. We all worry at first that our "friend" might let us down and it takes time to get used to having a pm. When you go for a check up make a list of your worries and ask your tech/sp your questions. It makes such a difference when the questions are answered directly and not left to run around our brains causing havoc by way of stress and anxiety.
Cheers from downunder
Genie
by LS - 2010-04-12 08:04:56
I understand the "anxiety" part all too well. I can't stress enough that these feelings do pass. (Just like everyone has said) I remember at the slightest weird little feeling I would leave the house if I was alone. I wanted to be around people in case something happened!!!
Jan. 26 was my implant day & since then things have gotten much better as far as my anxiety.
I pace 99 % of the time & am quite happy I do!! LOL
Don't worry about the leads breaking. Their quite strong!!!
Liz
I can relate but
by The Fish - 2010-04-12 09:04:22
Hi
Don't you worry about having a second post. That's what this group is here for. I am just 4 weeks post PM and can totally relate to what you are experiencing. I was having all kinds of thoughts, fears and feelings and still do to a lesser degree. It gets a little better each day and it is such a big help to have all of these great people here to help us through it. Go slow and don't overdo it. Post all you want it really will get better. Kind thoughts and best wishes.
Howard
trust
by Tracey_E - 2010-04-12 11:04:03
As the others said, it takes time to trust the pm to do its job. As you heal and feel better, the trust will come. I've been 100% dependent for 16 years now, through 4 dead batteries and one failed lead. I'm going to steal Frank's line... every time you drive your car or fly in an airplane you are totally dependent on computers and equipment, and we never think about it twice. This isn't much different, except there is a much shorter list of things that can go wrong. Pm's have extremely low rates of failure (and they don't truly fail, they go into a safe mode in the very rare event of malfunction, you would be safe until it could be fixed) and low incident of complication, less than 3%. It probably seems a lot higher than that if you're reading through the posts here. Remember that most people come here when they have a problem, so for every one person here with a rare complication there are hundreds and thousands of others out there feeling great and not having a reason to seek out a place like this. At two weeks, you are well past the time when a lead would become displaced.
It will be ok! Just give yourself time heal both mentally and physically. Talk with us as you need to, we've all been there. Read through some of the posts. Skip the ones about complications and check out the ones where our members brag about what we've been up to... hiking, skiing, marathons. The day will come when you don't give it another thought.
your feeling is "logical"
by Chrissie2116 - 2010-04-12 12:04:27
Dear Genie,
You should trust your pacemaker :-)
I completely share your threat as the day I came back after my PM implant, I still was passing out ... so that meant that the PM was not doing it job ... I was terribly afraid thinking it was not worth for me to have a PM as I still passed out with it. Doctor had to adjust my PM 3 times to solve this issue.And I can tell you I know my PM is really working.
Don't worry and during your next check in a few weeks, do not hesitate to ask your questions to the doctor and remember there are no silly questions :-)
You can also ask your questions to this beautiful forum and I am sure somebody will have the answer for you.
Trust the PM technology and it will be ok. You are only two weeks after your surgery and you still need time to recover mentally and physically. We all need to be patient and we all know this is not always obvious but we are all here to support each other and I am convinced we all will succeed with our positive attitude.
Have a nice day and hang in there,
Regards from Chrissie
Thank You
by Genie - 2010-04-13 09:04:53
Thank you everyone.
Reading all your support has made me cry. But in a good way. Which is a first in two weeks. I know that reading these comments when it gets too much is really going to help.
Genie xx
You know you're wired when...
Your pacemaker receives radio frequencies.
Member Quotes
Without this little machine, we would not be here.
Its natural...
by Hoosier - 2010-04-12 05:04:22
to have anxiety. Its not natural to not have complete control over our bodies but having that PM will change your life for the better. So in a way we do have control, we could have said no and kept suffering.
I hated to give up control, but now I feel better than I have in years.
I hope all goes well, expect success!!!!
Terry