Driving and Pacing

• by Angelie
• 2009-07-22 01:07:49
• General Posting
• 1283 views
• 2 comments

It was a wonderful drive home yesterday.

I rolled the window down to allow the 98 degree breeze to tease my hair like a hairdryer. Ain’t nothing like baked on sweat.

The radio station caught my vibe and surprised me by playing all of my favorite songs back to back. Just as I was jammin’ and singing along to “Boom, Boom, Pow”, I almost hit a cow and I swerved like a crooked arrow that had been arched by a drunken cupid.

To my left an entire stampede of cows resting in a field with the exception of a lone cow standing as if giving a pep talk to his fellow cow-pade. I guess the one playing “chicken” in the road had about enough of the speech as he could stand and was trying to find other means of entertainment. How thoughtful of the dare devil cow to scare the living crap out of me as I considered myself lucky to be his chosen one.

I thought my pacer was literally going to jump out of my chest, but it turned out to be just a few innocent PVC’s. It surely felt like it was doing the jig.

After turning on my road, I immediately see in the distance a brown thing tossing and turning in the middle of the road. I get closer and closer and begin to get frightened with the thought of it being my three legged dog, Diesel.

“Oh, dear”, I screamed. “He can’t lose anymore legs because then we’ll have to get one of those pathetic doggy wheelchairs and I doubt he could keep up with that.”

I’m about to lose control at this point, and brace myself for what’s ahead. I inch closer and closer, my heart is pounding, my pacer is working overtime, my breaths get faster and my hair raises up on end. Soon, I’m there. I can’t look. My eyes wander to the left of the highway for any welcomed diversion. My foot hits the brake. I prepare myself mentally for what lies on the road ahead of me which turns out to be…………


a brown paper bag blowing in the wind.

Don’t ya’ll just hate that?

Oh how I can’t wait until my next interrogation. I can already see the surprise on my doctor’s face. I'll be sitting there innocently grinning like a little girl, because finally I'll have something on them.....

“Now, now, Angelie, what were you doing on July 21st?”

“Just driving home,” I’ll say……….. “Just driving home.”