Life be normal again....
My husband had an ICD/Defibrillator put in June of 2009 at the age of 31. This has changed our whole world upside down. He doesn't like the idea of having an ICD/Defibrillator and changes the subject everytime I try to talk to him about it. He is not one to go talk to a councler or even his doctor. Meanwhile on the homefront everything is falling apart. It's been a year 1/2 since he has worked. His sesonal job will not hire him back due to liability issues with his ICD. A lot of patients comment on how good they feel after an ICD is put in. However, in our case it's not that way. The doctor adjusted my husbands ICD once, stating he is young and probably has a lot of energy, but after they released us from the adjusting appointment my husband said everything he saw was in tunnel vision and he felt different (not in a good way) so we went back to the doctor who changed his settings back to the way is was when he got out of the hospital. I want to say they set his ICD from 20 to 40. Why they didn't go half way in the thirties or something. Now my husband says everything is fine and doesn't want to go back in to get adjusted. Meanwhile he is short of breath and tends to sleep more then normal. Any advise would be greatly appericated. Thanks!
4 Comments
My Story
by Laben - 2010-07-21 01:07:48
I had a major heartattack at the age of 42, a week later a triple by-pass, (which did not restore the damage to left ventricle as hoped for) and then three months later after bouts of V-tachs an ICD was installed. That said, I can certainly understand some of the feelings and anxieties both of yall must be going through. With the great support of my wife, with each passing Christmas and each grandchild that came along, my outlook became so much brighter. All this started 17 years and 7 grandchildren and recently a fifth ICD/pm. Not bad when the doctors were hoping I would make it through the first year. I didn't mean to ramble but I wish you well and things will get better! Don't give up!
Five Stages of Grief...
by COBradyBunch - 2010-07-21 06:07:09
You may want to look at the Five Stages of Grief. When I got my PM I was a bit of a mess. It took me a little while to understand that I was actually going through something very much like the 5 stages of grief and understanding that helped me cope. If nothing else it might help you understand what is going on. One other thing is that he will need to decide that he is going to continue to live his life. Yea, he was dealt a bad hand, everyone here was, but his recovery is really up to him, how much he takes over managing his own care and getting on with his life. Maybe understanding what he is going through will help both of you.
Diagnosis?
by cruz - 2010-07-21 12:07:58
I don't know what your husband's diagnosis is so I don't know why he has the ICD. I have DCM (Dialated Cardiomyopathy). I was shocked and it turned my world upside down too. There's no way to describe the anxiety and worry. It's been about 10 months since they discovered the problem. I have a combo pacemaker and defib and I'm 100% dependent on the PM to do what the left side of my heart isn't doing (pumping). We all worry about death and we all know that our family worries about it. We don't really talk about it that much, but it's always there like a little cloud all of our heads. It helps to have a place like this to share your feelings and find more information. It's not an easy road and with his age, I'm sure it's more difficult for you too. I'm 58. I thought that all I would see at teh cardiologist's office were old people but I've been surprised by how many young people are there with the same problem as me. I hope he will come to grips with the situation and that the two of you will be able to talk more openly. It's a lot to absorb. If he's on medication, most of the meds cause you to sleep or seem tired and exhausted. With time, he will slowly adjust to the medication. I still, however, sleep much more than I ever did before. Any small exertion has me in my chair and taking a nap that could last 20 minutes or 2 hours. His body is going to need time to adjust, as well as his mind. Sometimes it's easier on the one with the condition than it is on the ones they love. Having the shortness of breath, for me, is the scariest part of all. I hope you are able to find some of the answer you seek here. I know you will find some of the most supportive, caring people. They have helped me tremendously just by being there for me to express my fears or to answer my questions. When the doctor's office is closed, someone is here on the boards that I can talk to. Hang in there.
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Upside Down
by wenditt - 2010-07-20 09:07:22
I'm sorry to hear your husband is having a hard time adjusting and I'm so sorry to hear how it is impacting your lives. I don't have an ICD....just a regular PM. I am 33. Got the implant on 9/11/09. So I'm about 10 months in. Upside down is an understatement for how I would describe my reaction and emotions towards to whole idea. I have a baby and a father who died suddenly. To say I was scared out of my mind would not begin to give it justice! I can empathize with your husband....as I am sure my husband could empathize with you. It took me until January-so about 4 months to finally see someone. And even then....it really didn't better. 10 months later with support from members here, my counselor and medication and I am at about 85%. Its a traumatic event for some. Sounds like it is for your husband. It can make you worry about dying...all the time....so much so that you aren't actually living. It's ironic really-they implant something in you to keep you from dying...but that what I would think about constantly.
My best advise is to keep encouraging your husband to talk to someone. My cardiologist gave me the name of another patient (with her permission). I spoke with her a lot and it made me feel better. But I think he needs professional help as well.
I have benefited greatly from the support I have received. From people here-to psychologists. I hope you can get him to open up-express his thoughts here or go see someone.
My best wishes for you both...truly. I know it's a difficult road.