having a hard time

I am a 51 year old woman..had stents and have had a heart attack. Doctors found out I had a weak heart due to damage and put in a pacemaker in emergency setting..depressed..even worse than when I had the heart attack..anyone feel that too?

7 Comments

Having A Hard Time

by SMITTY - 2010-09-19 01:09:14


I think it is normal to feel depressed when we discover we have something that sounds like we have suddenly become very frail. I've been down the road of heart attacks, bypass surgery, stents (4 to date) and pacemaker (2 to date) and understand how these things can play with a person's emotions. Getting a pacemaker was the worst of all because I knew exactly nothing about a pacemaker and how or when the thing worked. To compound my problems I had many problems with my first pacemaker. Then someone told me to look at this site and I started seeing what people were saying about theirs and that started me to doing some research on pacemakers.

I'm going to guess that like me you have a peacemaker that helps your heart only when your heart rate drops below some set point on your pacemaker. When I learned that was the way mine worked I soon figure red that in reality my pacemaker was not much more than a prosthesis. Now I know the definition of prosthesis is a device that replaces a missing body part. Well the pacemaker doesn't replace a missing part, but it does step and replace a function of the heart as needed.

So don't be like me and think that pacemaker works full time keeping your heart going. It is nothing but a part time helper for your heart. If in fact quit today your heart would just revert back to what it was doing before you got the pacemaker. I can say that with complete confidence as like I said I had many problems with mine initially. I couldn't get them corrected and after several months I told the doctor to just turn the thing off. The Dr objected slightly, but he turned it off and my problem (it was shocking hell out of me) went away and my heat function returned to doing what it was before I got the pacemaker. It was turned off for more than two years I had no problems. Then a new doctor came on the scene and convinced me he could correct the shocking problem and that I would feel better with the pacemaker helping my heart in the "as needed mode" so I let him restart it.

I guess the moral of my story is I have a pacemaker but I put no emphases on its presence. I know it will help out as needed and I'll never even know when it is or is not. Above all, I never dwell on having a pacemaker. I hope you can accept yours as just something you need, just like you probably need medicines from time to time. Because in reality, there is not much difference in a pacemaker than medicine.

I wish you the best,

Smitty

Thank you

by deewithgreeneyes - 2010-09-19 03:09:11

Thank you all for your support. It means the world to me..I am frightened and like many of you said could handle a heart attack ut know nothing about the pacemaker. To make a litle more stress on the situation my boyfriend who I was engaged to before this seems to be more concerned over theeffect on sex life than anything else. He has become moody and distant..and I just had this thing put in a month ago..can't talk to him because that where it always comes down to..sex life. Big changes we go through huh?

Pacemaker Not An Issue

by J.B. - 2010-09-19 04:09:37


I say tell that boyfriend that if he is afraid of a rejuvenated woman he should 'fess up. All that pacemaker is going to do is keep you in the enjoyable action longer. That PM certainly does not mean you are damaged goods.

Anyway most of the time during sex a pacemaker just monitors your heart rate waiting to see if it is dropping below the low set point on the pacemaker and if it does then the pacemaker will come on line and help out. I think we all know that the heart rate during sex is not going to get lower so the pacemaker is a non-issure.

Great support from the group!

by Heidiglassmeyer - 2010-09-19 06:09:40

For several months after my PM (2/10) my husband was also somewhat distant and I think it effected both of us with intimacy. For us is was my emotional state after going through what I felt as a traumatic experience and for him not understanding the PM itself. I can't say I have completely come to terms with it and am not an overly emotional woman. We did have a conversation last month about my fears and the overall experience ending up with a PM. He was also able to express his concern about my health and his fears. By us both understanding each others feelings things have improved. Although we may be supported medically with our PM's there is still the emotional aspects which DR's don't always discuss. Now he does not get so freaked out when my hr goes up and I'm sob and neither do I. I was also able to explain during intimacy what causes discomfort. Kind of a strange conversation to have but it was well worth it to have an understanding where each of you are coming from. We are not damaged goods, just new and improved! PS, it also helped him understand that if I was not interested in being intimate it had nothing to do with him but that I was just not feeling well :). I think it helped his ego a bit :). I also read a book called the male brain and it helped me undertand where he is coming from. For you men out there, yes, I am also reading the book by the same author on the female brain lol!

Good luck with your recovery!
Heidi

Seems many do

by Duke60 - 2010-09-19 12:09:15

It appears that a lot of people feel this way after getting a PM.
Maybe our mind has to have time for this new item in our body?
Go talk to someone about your feelings, let it out, cry or what ever you need to do.
I hated mine, but now do not even think about it.
In time this feeling should go away. Look it appears you handled a heart attack?
Do not let a little box hold you down!

oh yeah

by jessie - 2010-09-19 12:09:32

for about a year i cried every day. i could not get a handle on my emotions. it has been four years now and i got over it so don't give up...okay???
it got better . take care hugs jessie

back on with the group

by deewithgreeneyes - 2010-09-25 11:09:52

I have been reading the entire forum section..and want to thank all of you. With your andid honelty I see that my feelings are your feelings as well..I have been so deep in thought these days..and trying not to feel sorry for myself. I have thought about all of those who have passed because their conditions were not diagnosed..and went to be never to wake up again. Or the young atletes who have died..and how lucky we are that we know and have a heads up. Yes, we have a heads up on our own mortlaity..but we also have a heads up that we have a condtion that can be treated. I ponder now how long it has shortened my life..but to poner it has been futile. I lost my 27 year old daughter 3 years ago in a surfing accident..hence my heart problems excelled. I have my own personal belief..a broken heart. Interestingly enough the paramedic who took me in the ambulance noticed everytime I spoke of my daughter my heart rate decreased to 39. I am rambling..let me get back on track..to worry about how much time is futile. None of us know..my daughter was in perfect physical shape. A professional surfer..she should have had much time..but she did not...I am going to my primary doctor as I have had problems sleeping..can you sleep on your stomach and side? seems the pacemaker makes all postions uncomfortable except on my back..I am a tummy sleeper...

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