Anger

Hi everyone. Please can you help. I had 3rd degree heart
block and had a PM and a defibrillator fitted by emergency on 1st October. To say I'm shocked is an understatement but glad to be alive. I'm normally a calm and placid person but I've
got do much anger I don't know how to deal with it. My hubby understandably is very hurt by my attitutude and I'm angry at myself but don't know what's happening. Please can someone let me know if this is normal and if so will it go away.
Yours in desperation xx

9 Comments

positive thoughts

by breezy - 2010-10-18 07:10:21

I think that all of us goes thru a bit of what your feeling
I was more in shock then I was ever angry - I remember them telling me in the ER after I fainted - you may have to have a PM I was like what? so after all was said and done - and I realized that I would become sick and keep fainting and that other things would go on I began to realize that I needed the PM - but still I was in shock and never showed much emotion - until now which has been a year for me - now I have all these thoughts - however they are not angry thoughts - since this happened on my birthday a year ago today - it brings on much emotion.
so just remember the folks close to you are just wanting to help you thru all of it - and remember they are going thru their adjustments with all of this too - be kind to yourself and you family and think positive thoughts - becuz it will all get better for you. I wish you Gods speed and for every day to get better - one day at a time :)
Blessings
breexy

You're not alone

by SaraTB - 2010-10-18 09:10:06

Hi Poppy, and welcome to the PM Club. I, too, had my PM implanted as an emergency, after a scheduled ablation that went wrong resulted in 3rd degree block.

I was shocked, angry, felt I'd let my family down somehow, by having to have this 'thing', through no fault of my own. I was alternately tearful or angry. The shock was immense, as I really knew nothing about PMs at that stage: which is where the PM Club comes in. You will have questions: we have answers, as they say! I found that learning as much as I could really helped me find acceptance and calm, and the folks here know exactly what you're feeling. You should feel comfortable asking anything that comes to mind, here, and also feel free to 'vent' when you need to: we know that sometimes you need to, and don't want to scare your family.

Your husband is probably scared for you, and doesn't know how to deal with it either. I don't think that's unusual for the family of a PM owner, and they feel helpless, and frustrated that they can't make it all better (at least, that's how my husband felt). As you both learn more about your new PM buddy, I'm sure you'll begin to feel calmer - but in the meantime, remember there are people here to share it with.

Best
Sara

Oh my!

by pacergirl - 2010-10-18 09:10:28

Hello Poppy! I can certainly relate to what you are saying! I was very angry too! I was a go getter and a grocery getter and a home keeper as well as a worker! When my heart "failed" me, I was so mad.

I am great with it now. It took some time, but I finally allowed myself to have a good old "hissy" fit and got it out. I'm telling you this; it was so beneficial! I felt so much better and I found some friends here. Great friends.

So, my advice to you .... go ahead and allow yourself to express your anger in an appropriate way. It is whatever makes you feel better. Then check in here and see we are all dealing with this issue. Some don't get angry, but I sure did. I am so very happy now, I really am but it did take some time.

Be patient if you can, stomp your feet if you must, be as much trouble as you deem necessary! lol

Pacergirl

Give it time

by Edouard - 2010-10-18 10:10:24

Your situation is only 3 weeks old. While everyone has a different reaction to being fitted with a pacemaker, I don't believe anyone would have it done if it weren't necessary. I had been given a "heads-up" by my cardiologist that I "might eventually" need a pacemaker, but the timing was certainly a surprise. I collapsed, busted my face and ribs and wound up in the emergency room of the Heart Institute covered in blood. My reaction was essentially irritation at myself for getting into this mess.
I also felt a strong sense of impatience at being told not to swim for six weeks - I normally do between 12 and 18 km per week.
Now, 4 1/2 months have elapsed since my procedure. I'll be swimming in a competition next Saturday. Friends and family tell me how good I look (if that's possible). My dizzy spells are history and there's nothing I could do before my operation that I can't do today.
I should have asked: How do you feel? That's going to be a key factor in how you deal with this.
Give yourself a break and give one to your spouse. With a bit of time, you should feel better both physically and emotionally.
Give us more postings to let us know how you're doing.
Regards
Edouard

Let It Help You

by SMITTY - 2010-10-18 12:10:23


Hello Poppy,

Different people react differently to getting a pacemaker/defibrillator. I can't say I understand your anger because I have never had that feeling about mine. Aggravated yes, but not angry. But sometimes it is difficult for us to admit that our body is not the perfect specimen we thought it was and has a frailty and I guess anger is a reaction some people have.

But let me ask you a couple of questions? If you have to, or were to find out, that you need glasses would get angry? If you had to have a tooth capped, or have a root canal would you get angry? The list could go on and on, but I'm sure you get the picture that our body has many parts that can need an assist from some man made device.

That pacemaker is no different. It is a manmade device that is implanted in our body so it can help our heart when it fails to perform as the perfect organ we always think of it being. To me the secret is being able to ignore the fact I have a pacemaker because it sits there doing what it is programmed to do and I never even know it is helping. In other words it makes my heart the almost perfect organ I always thought of it being.

With 3rd degree heart block your pacemaker keeps your heart rate at a level that you are not passing out, or feeling so weak and tired that you are unable to perform your normal activity. Now your defibrillator is a different story. It will fire only when your heart goes into ventricular fibrillation. V-Fib can be deadly and gives no warning it is coming but that D-Fib unit will recognize it and intercede. While I don't have a D-Fib unit I would understand its importance to my continuing to live. So I think if I did have one I would probably reach up and pat that little dude each morning then thank God for making it possible for me to have it.

So please try to not let that pacemaker/defibrillator take over your life and ruin it when they are there for the exact opposite reason.

I wish you the best,

Smitty

Thank you

by Poppy - 2010-10-19 05:10:33

Guys you have made me cry. You're lovely lovely people and I thank God from the bottom of my very damaged heart that I found this site. I now know I'm not alone. I love you all for your lovely messages.
Big hugs poppy x

see the list

by Hot Heart - 2010-10-19 09:10:50

Anger
Fear
Depressed
Uncertain
Crying
Felt old
Scared
Panicky
...............................went through the lot, two years on am a 58 year old fit healthy happy woman!

HH

Hi.

by Pookie - 2010-10-19 12:10:27

I totally agree with all the other posts. When I first received my pacemaker I was depressed, stressed, angry, had panic attacks and cried a lot.

It's normal.

However, with that being said, perhaps you could seek some kind of counselling or therapy...I did, and it worked like a charm to be able to talk to someone about my experience(s).

It will take some time to adjust, to wrap your head around having a pacemaker. Most of us have experienced some of what you have described.

And remember, this is a support group....we're here to help you all we can:)

Hugs,
Pookie

You have me as a friend anytime

by BillyD - 2010-10-20 01:10:34

I just had my own pacemaker implanted on Wednesday of this last week and I am just plain scared as to what life will bring now. I am a pilot by profession and never expected this electrical imbalance I have. But with that said, I will be your friend anytime you need talking too........you be my friend and we all can help each other......6454@live.com is my email if anyone cares to write, if not, I will understand......I wish us all the best........I hate being afraid alone, sorry for sounding like a wimp........Bill

You know you're wired when...

You have an excuse for being a couch potato.

Member Quotes

At age 20, I will be getting a pacemaker in few weeks along with an SA node ablation. This opportunity may change a five year prognosis into a normal life span! I look forward to being a little old lady with a wicked cane!