*sigh*

Well, at 47 yrs of age, I'm officially done working according to my doctor. I had a heart attack in August of last year, a bypass October '10, Pacemaker in December '10 and another catheterization 3 weeks ago due to a questionable ekg. My heart, before the bypass, was 20-25%. After the bypass, it went up to 35%. After an echo cardiogram was done 3 weeks ago, my heart is down to 20%. So, after 30+ years of working, the last 19 at my present (past now) employer, I'm done. That is hard to deal with! I'm going on long term disability. Next is the ssi (or whatever it is) process, which is boggling my mind as to WHAT has to be done! Not been a good last 5+ months!!!

5 Comments

Hi Tony

by Pookie - 2011-02-24 11:02:24

I understand how you feel. I am almost 49 and haven't been able to work since December of 2006. At first I was too sick to even care. As time went on, it really bothered me that someone else was sitting at MY desk and doing MY job, but in time I realized that "it is what it is" and there is nothing I can do about it. Actually, it took me a very long time to accept that I couldn't go back to work. I got very depressed because I was 44 at the time that I finally had to wave the white flag and go on Long Term Disability. I tried SO very hard for almost 2 yrs to do my job, but I just couldn't keep up and I was making mistakes like crazy. I was going to work each day and I was so ill but I pushed myself and sometimes I think I pushed myself too hard and I certainly paid the price - physically.

The thing that I did completely wrong was I stayed in the house and did nothing...unless you count having pity parties for myself as some kind of activity:) Now I try my hardest to keep as active as I can - I have a lot of limitations because of a lot of other medical issues as well, but I do what I can:)

Perhaps there is some kind of part time job you can do from home? Perhaps you could volunteer somewhere for a few hours a week? Just find something to occupy your time and mind.

It's difficult, I totally understand, to see all your friends being able to do something and now you can't. But there is also a plus side to all of this -- spending more time with family.

It is ming boggling - I hear you!!! I had to seek counselling as I became very depressed not only because I could no longer work, but like I mentioned, I suddenly came down with a slew of other medical issues....it sucked to say the least.

But everything happens for a reason - you just have to find that reason. Life is too short (I've finally realized) to hang onto what could have been.

I truly wish you the best.

Take care,
Pookie

Inactivity isn't good either

by ElectricFrank - 2011-02-25 02:02:21

Being inactive isn't going to help your situation either. The trick is to listen to your body as far as the amount and kind of activity that will work for you. I see you are a ham and into computers and gadgets. (I'm W6DZG). Spending time on the air or computer should still be possible.

I look at things a little bit different than Pookie, but it's just my way. Instead of feeling like things happen for a reason, I just accept that they happen and make decisions in a way that takes them into account. At 80 yrs I have a lot of things I can't do or do as well as I used to, but I'm having a heck of a good time. I also realize that my chances of dropping dead increase each year, but I wouldn't slow down the fun for anything.

One other thought: don't put too much stock in those percentage figures. While they are worth watching, remember that there is a wide margin of error in the measurement technique. You could have several echos run on consecutive days and get widely different results.

best wishes,

frank

Hey Tony Stewart Fan

by walkerd - 2011-02-25 07:02:00

I am to and have been since he started in his Pontiac. Go Smoke..
Anyways i sent you a pm on somethings. its not the end of the world which right now it seems to be, its all in the way you look at it buddy, it will take a little while but it will all come around, like I said its how you look at it. Your alive and there are things you still can do, things that you like to do that you really couldnt do all the time while working, and you will have to make alot of adjustments on the cost of living but you can do it I did, sometimes its tuff but it can be done, I get to do alot more fishing than I used to and I cant say that I dont love that because I do. lol. Once you get thru the realization process it will be fine. Dont sit around and feel sorry for yourself, get on here and type and ask stuff and get it out of your system trust me it helps and there are some fantastic people on here that will help get you thru this they helped me and I here for ya anytime. Dont keep stuff bottled up inside as that is the worse thing you can do my friend. Trust me been there done that. Come here everyday pm me, type stuff on here it helps. Ill give you my email address to if you want.

dave

Relax and Enjoy

by lahbigbro6 - 2011-02-25 11:02:08

Hello Tony ! Just relax and enjoy. I got my pacemaker at 43, and my birthday was the next day and I got out of the hospital (at 44 years old ha ha) . I am now 51 years, unemployed, I quit a job, cannot find work for 2 years now. I was just told new pacemaker needed (8 years old). Finally, I have a second interview today ! But guess what if I get the job, what do I tell them, oh in 3 weeks I need a day off or two for a new pacemaker ? Enjoy you time, I have certainly loved mine. Sometimes I get bored, but the computer time fills in and start a walking program in the spring. Good luck, you will enjoy it more than you think. Get a dog ! I have two beagle/sheltie mix and they love me at home ! Post anytime !

Hi!!!

by Hot Heart - 2011-02-27 10:02:38

Sorry to read you are having such a bad time.

I finished my 'real' job last year, I was actually made redundant when 3 colleges merged, I could have taken something with the new college but decided not to.

Think of this now as a magical time, a new beginning, a time when you can do what you want to every day (dependent upon health limitations of course). Your paid work might be over but you still have a brain and I'm sure there's a way you can focus that into something positive.

I am loving not working. I can go to bed and get up at whatever time I want, if I want to 'veg out' for a day I can. Luckily my health is good so I am able to go to the gym, go to London with my daughter, help her with fashion shows etc. But even if I couldnt do that I have plenty of things to fill my time.

Take stock of your life, dont rush into making any quick decisions about what you may or may not want to do. I might go back to work again someday, who knows, at the moment though i have no intention of doing so, am waiting for the summer, to sunbathe, go on long walks with my dogs and just enjoy.

Take care and take time for yourself!!

HH

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My pacemaker was installed in 1998 and I have not felt better. The mental part is the toughest.