Is or Has Anyone Blamed Themselves?

What if?

by Hamsquatch - 2017-01-16 04:18:19

You are not alone, I am 27 months post ICD and still have similar thoughts, what if I did this? What if I didn't do that? I don't think about it often but when I do it's certainly depressing, then I come back down to earth and realize I'm only human there is no point in fretting. 

You, like the rest of us have been put in an unfortunate predicament, not eating meat has nothing to do with it, and unless you are in the situation most of us here are in (needing a pacemaker or ICD) I feel people "not in this circle" truly have no idea of the mental health side of things, and potentially even more significant than the physical aspects.

For me personally the healing process is ongoing, I've had extreme highs (being able to walk for 4 hours straight) and extreme lows (being cardioverted  while walking) the process is ongoing and fluid.

Mary …. A question ?

by IAN MC - 2017-01-16 05:05:04

I assume that you  blame yourself if your TV develops an electrical problem  ?  ( because you have no control over that either )

Are you too self-absorbed... yes !  But fortunately there is a solution to this problem ..have another glass of wine.

Ian

Blame Game

by TomL56 - 2017-01-16 08:22:41

I blame myself for all this but I know that genetics had a lot to do with it. I'm not a vegetarian, in fact, I'm a habitual poor eater with diabetes and have been a bit, sometimes a lot, overweight pretty much my entire adult life. So, yeah, this is pretty clearly my fault.

Having said that, blaming myself or anyone else won't help. I just need to deal with the situation. I know I won't live forever, but another 20 to 30 years would be nice. I very nearly died last week at the age of 60 when I got my PM so I want to make the best of this opportunity to continue living.

I hope I will not waste time and energy blaming myself. I plan on concentrating on dealing with my health issues and enjoying life. Self blaming will sneak in once in a while but I will ignore it as best I can.

Genes

by marylandpm - 2017-01-16 08:33:00

 If you check your familys history you might find relatives that had fainting spells or that just dropped dead. Only in the last  few decades have we had pacemakers available to us. My mother got a pacemaker after having fainting spells for months. Her mother had the same problem but pacemakers were not available for her.

Jack

No blame

by Ileen - 2017-01-16 10:30:58

I felt like that a bit. But, then I said, it serves no purpose. People who have cancer, well, many factors can cause cancer, some are preventable , like smoking,but, how many none smokers do we know that died of lung cancer? I know a couple. I think it is the luck of the draw. God knows how many days we will live and how, we don't. What I am trying to say is, don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself, as you would be to a friend. We have no control. We never do. Just be grateful we have something that is very fixable. Now,enjoy your day. Hugs, ileen

just say no to the blame game

by Tracey_E - 2017-01-16 10:53:52

Lifestyle choices lead to plumbing problems, not electrical. Electrical happens at random with no respect for age, fitness level, health and most of the time genes. Nothing you did caused it, nothing you could have done differently would have prevented it.

Even if you had done something to increase your chances of health problems, looking back is a waste of time, just go forward the best you can. Put your energy in to something positive. 

No deal

by Gotrhythm - 2017-01-16 13:55:51

You said: I sometimes feel that my body has betrayed me.

We sometimes act as if we think we can do a deal with our bodies. We will make the perfect life choices, and our bodies will not break down or age.

Nonsense. Nothing you can do is going to make your body function perfectly forever. If you must blame someone, blame your grandparents for giving birth to your mother. If they hadn't, you would not be here in this predicament now. It sounds silly when I put it like that, but the fact that you are alive and living in a body is the cause of your problem.

Sometimes it is useful to look back and figure out what mistakes you made so that you can make sure you don't make the same mistake in the future. But looking for someone to blame will correct nothing, and is a joy killer.

Listen to Tracey. For those of us whose only health challenge is that we need a pacemaker, the glass is a lot more than half full.

Push That Blame Away.

by MaryVan - 2017-01-16 18:04:36

Again, being exactly a month in to this, thank you. I know having said, "one day at a time," I realized it was for the physical part. The mental part just caught up with me. That is why I threw those thoughts to the group.

And that being said, the only thoughts I can control are mine. So as soon as it is possible, I will get to the Mexican restaurant with the fantastic ceviche de pescado and savor life a little more.