Pacemaker removel

Welcome to the Club !

by IAN MC - 2018-01-28 08:54:06

I don't think any of us whooped with joy when we were told that we needed a pacemaker.

Being alive with a PM  is much better than being dead without one though.   Death is simply a never-ending " cardiac pause" and having a PM definitely delays that experience.

Also it is possible that your husband's cardiologist really is God so it is probably best  to listen to him.

Ian

My pacemaker wasn't my decision either

by LondonAndy - 2018-01-28 10:22:05

But I know I would be dead without it.  Would you rather have one now, for possibly not frequent need, or after you have had an accident and caused injury to yourself, and maybe others, if you went without and your heart paused at an awkward moment?  Come to think of it, when is a heart pause NOT an awkward moment?

I think perhaps I am lucky: I like technology and gadgets, and I simply see my pacemaker as another one of those.  Others see them as a sign of failure in some way, which it is not.  Proof will come at one of your pacemaker checkups, when they say how much you have been paced since the last checkup.  Keep the faith, and I feel sure you will come to terms with it.

acceptance

by Tracey_E - 2018-01-28 13:14:46

God complexes are fairly common in cardiology. That doesn't mean they don't know their stuff. Pacers are not given on a whim, they are given because the heart isn't doing what it needs to do to keep us healthy. Best case, it's  keeping you safe. Worst (best?!) it's keeping you alive. Pauses can cause you to pass out. Pauses can cause you to die if the pause is too long for the heart to kick in again on its own. There are no  other fixes. It won't go away on its own, there are no meds to fix it.

What can you do? Choose to look on the bright side and get on with your life. Taking it out would be foolish so stop going down that mental path. None of us wants these things but the sooner you accept the new reality, the happier you will be. I got my first one at 27. I have no doubt I never would have seen my 30th birthday without it. With it, I'm still healthy and active at 51, there's nothing I want to do that I cannot.  Two things helped me, one was learning everything I could about it. I can accept what I can understand. Second, getting out in the fresh air and staying busy again. The busier I was, the better I felt. One day I realized I'd stopped thinking about it all the time. Eventually I was grateful, even happy, to have it. 

Give your mind a chance to heal as well as the body. They tell us about the physical healing but the emotional is just as hard, sometimes harder. Mourn, pout, be angry, vent here, get it out of your system ... then make a conscious choice to move on, to be grateful that you have a condition with a fix, to be glad it was fixed before you passed out and were hurt or went into cardiac arrest. I know it sounds trite, but count your blessings. The list is longer than you think.

Embrace it

by Grateful Heart - 2018-01-28 19:22:07

And accept it like Tracey said.  Don't let it get the better of you.  We all have one because we needed one....it's really that simple.  You can fight it or you can make friends with it.  It's much easier to become friends with it.

It's part of my body now and like the rest of us, I wouldn't still be here without it.  I am VERY grateful for the science and technology and my doctors and nurses.  I still have a lot of living to do.

I don't think of it as a separate entity or foreign body....it's just part of me.

Learn all you can about your device and condition.  Acceptance will come if you let it.

Grateful Heart

Been there, done that

by Gotrhythm - 2018-01-28 22:49:47

I understand. I didn't want my pacemaker. I mean I really didn't want it. I said no. For 24 hours, I wouldn't let them schedule it. Even once it was implanted, and I felt better immediately, I still cringed to think there was this machine inside me, working my heart for me.

So I get where you're coming from. And I'm not going to try to talk you into liking it now. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had remained adament.

Well, since at that time, I had no other heart disease, and was otherwise healthy, I might have lived several years. I felt pretty bad. I think I would have contined to feel bad for a while. And then I would have felt worse. Because electrical problems don't get better on their own. Like you I was having pauses. They would have gotten worse until I either passed out and caused an accident, or realized I had to give up driving. And then I probably wouldn't be able to live independently, so I would need a nursing home. And sooner or later I would have died.

For some people the choice to get a pacemaker is easy. It's a no brainer. Others have to hammer out their choices a bit at the time.

At some point, I realized that since I did in fact have the pacemaker, I needed to make my peace with it. The first thing I did was give it a name. I called it Mon Coeur. The heart of my heart.

Naming it helped.

OMG

by ROBO Pop - 2018-01-29 11:52:32

...or should that be OMC? 

So let me understand this...you didn't want a pacemaker and someone forced you. Did they drug you amd just do it? Someone hold you down while they crammed that thing in? How did that come down? You know here in the states at least forcing someone to have a medical procedure against their will is against the law...or is this simply buyers remorse? 

Over the years we've seen many people come and go who've hated their devices and fought to get them removed. A few have been successful, look hard enough you can find a doctor who'll do anything, but alas they're no longer with us. 

Perhaps you should stop the histrionics and give it a fair shot. Who knows you might like living more than you hste your device.

Me too, sometimes...

by Washingtonienne - 2018-01-29 22:54:27

I'm just under 4 months with my pacemaker and there are definitely times I love it (so much more energy!) and there are times that I hate that I have it.  I'm only 34 and having a need for a pacemaker has made me feel, at times, broken.  I miss that immortal feeling of youth.  Reality sucks.  <insert whine here>. 

But then I come on here and read posts from others, like you, that remind me that the emotional struggle is a real and normal part of this experience. Knowing that I'm not the only one who struggles some with this new life is comforting.  And people like TraceyE and Gotrhythm and Grateful Heart and Gumption bring me to tears with their words of support and encouragement.  I am so appreciative of them.  

I'm sorry you are struggling and I hope that the responses here have been as helpful for you as they have been for me.  We'll get there.  

comments

by Wildflowermom - 2018-02-02 13:12:15

All these comments have been a great help to me, a new member of the club.

What do you hate most?

by Carol - 2018-02-02 14:53:14

Hi Chawkins!

I read your post and know you hate having a PM.  I'm curious though, what part of having the PM do you hate?  I agree it takes some getting used to for some of us (I've had mine since 2007).  Anyway, looking forward to finding out what is most troubling for you- maybe we can help a little more that way.

Carol

Tough Decissions

by Shocked1 - 2018-02-03 13:57:51

I think everyone hates the need for that thing. But--when my husband was scheuled for his, they told him about people who said they would get it but not then. One man said he was going on vacation and would have it when he got back.Ironically, his heart stopped and he died in the parking lot when he was leaving. So he didn't get the pacemaker and he didn't get the vacation, either.  If your condition was serious enough that your heaart paused, it will be nice to have something that will start it again.  If you are in doubt about that decidion, why not contact another cardiologist and tell him that you did not think you needed it? There surely were many tests before it was done, and they should be available. I suspect you may learn that without it, you are in acute danger. Let me ask this: is life with a pacemaker so bad that you would rather take your chances on having no life?

Modern day gift

by Prov18:10 - 2018-02-19 15:16:15

Having the news that my EF was around 20% and that I’d need to be admitted into the hospital right away was a sobering revelation. Understanding that my heart could and would fail at anytime aka SUDDEN cardiac arrest means virtually no hope of resuscitate. Leaving behind my wife and my then 4yr old son was eye opening and could think of no other gift to give them than my life. God has blessed us with this time in our life with science and medicine to provide a quaility of life that no other generation has had. I believe we are obligated to use these God given gifts to LIVE now and make a difference in this world. Ask yourself, Does your Life give light, or does it cast shadows? 

We can sure use a whole lot more light in this world today, so live, laugh and love.