Hey

The little box.

by Lilly - 2018-02-24 00:24:10

Try not thinking about how your body looks, think of this little box being part of your body. I have dealt with the same thing you're dealing with. We have to move past it and love our body's whether anyone else does or not . loving yourself is the beginning of your healing. I still have days I don't like this thing being in my body but it has to be there,in order for me to live. Please try to feel better about yourself. hope something I have said will help you. I always look forward to hearing from my pacemaker friends. I value their opinions. God bless! 

The question in my mind is why?

by Theknotguy - 2018-02-24 21:11:39

Having a foreign object in your body can be a mental challenge for some people.  It does happen.  However you make some other comments that leave me wondering.  You say you don't have many close friends - that really isn't a problem as some people don't.  You also say you don't talk with your family - so was there a problem?  

Next question in my mind is how long you've had the pacemaker.  Then why you say it hinders you in your day-to-day life.  You even hate your pacemaker?  And yes, with that kind of feeling, I'd be concerned about getting into a new relationship too.  

I didn't get a choice about my pacemaker. I was walking down the trail with two dogs, turned the corner to get on the exit trail, everything started going dark, and woke up in the hospital six days later.  The nurse said, "You're in a hospital." - kinda figured that out.  "You have a pacemaker." - that expained the lump and sore shoulder.  "It's Wednesday." - Woah, wait a minute.... It was  Friday when I had the dogs!   So, yep was out Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and finally Wednesday before they woke me up.  Put in a temporary pacemaker then waited four days to see if I would live.  Then the pacemaker I have now.  

I read somewhere that people with pacemakers can get depression.  It goes along with heart disease.  So as soon as I could I made an appointment with a psychologist who specialized in trauma and heart problems.  Spent a couple of months working with her.  She was a great help.  If it is at all possible I'd suggest the same for you.  It's nice to have a dis-interested third party with whom to talk.  Especially since she could offer some great insights.  Check with your health care provider.  You might also want to talk with your EP.  Perhaps he/she can make some suggestions for you too.  

Not having many close personal friends isn't a problem.  I'm one of those individuals who doesn't have many close personal friends either.  Some people are bothered by the scar and the lump, I'm not.  I can do everything I did before I had the pacemaker plus a few things I couldn't - so I don't feel the pacemaker is a hindrance.  Do I love my pacemaker - no.  But I'd be dead without it so while I don't love it, I do like to have it.  I'd like to think I could still climb Mount Everest but I know with my heart problems that isn't possible.  Do I still have heart problems -yes.  But that's part of the heart disease I've got and not because of the pacemaker.  So I'm not blaming it for all my problems.  Do people have problems with people who have pacemakers - probably.  But I really don't have time for them.  

Oh, and one other thing.  You don't have to like it.  You don't have to like it that you have a pacemaker.  You don't have to like it that you have heart disease that necessitates you have a pacemaker.  If you feel it's necessary to jump up and down, scream and yell that it's unfair, you're quite welcome to do so.  Then, after the pity party (I've had them too.) it's time to get on with the rest of your life.  

I hope I've given you a little help with this post.  You can lead a normal life with a pacemaker and I still have a lot of living to do.   I sincerely hope things go better for you.  
 

Hey

by softball35 - 2018-02-25 21:32:13

I was depressed and shocked when I had my pacemaker implanted.  I thought my life was over but then the St. Jude techician asked my if I had seen the movie Forest Gump.  You know the part about  it happens?  Well it happened to me and you.  If not for that box we would both be dead.  So I take my shirt off as a joke to show people the box.  I flex my pecs and everybody winces.  But I enjoy doing it.  I don't even know I have it.  My love life is a lot better now.  Just enjoy life. Nobody gets out alive anyway.