Depression after surgery

I had my pace maker surgery on 8/15/18. Everything went very well. Hardly any pain after surgery and mostly just tightness around the incision. The main thing I'm experiencing now, 10 days after surgery, is: Depression  When I look in the mirror at the incision and feel the "bump", I burst into tears. I feel okay physically but I feel I'm having a hard time adjusting to having a "foreign object" in my body. I'm also anxious about returning to work on 8/27. I'm a case manager at a residential mental health facility which is very stressful.  It's also uncomfortable when I'm driving as the seatbelt lays on the incision and hurts, and driving is part of my job requirement.  I've been putting a microfiber cloth between the seatbelt and incision, but still feel the pressure and discomfort. Has anyone else gone through this ?

Thanks, Valerie


11 Comments

Depression

by Water ballerina - 2018-08-26 01:08:21

Vslerie.  I just joined club tonight and am having Pm implant end of October for bradycardia. Seems to me that post depression may be similar to post bypass surgery which is so common.  I'm nervous too about feeling I need a device but the positives of no longer struggling with 38-44 bpm will be good for my tiredness.  I live near the water and love kayaking in calm waters.  Set a goal maybe.  Mine is to kayak 5 miles next summer.  I'm 72 and kind if fit but hope to get stronger.  Be strong and remember you are worth good health.  You have a rewarding career.  

Depression after surgery

by Sparty87 - 2018-08-26 03:23:54

Yes.... I was depressed for maybe 3-4 weeks after my surgery. It will get better as you physically heal. I’m 53...so pretty young to need a PM...but glad for the technology!  You’re going to be ok....give it time.  👍🏻👍🏻

Depression

by MissFitts - 2018-08-26 06:18:43

I can't say I was depressed after my PM implant, but it took some mental adjustment to get used to the idea of having a chunk of metal keeping me alive when for  the previous 70+ years I had been perfectly normal and made only of flesh and bone 

Also after 10 days, the time  you are at, I was quite scared to look at the  scar and  what seemed  a very lumpy area. The thing is, you don't know what  a "normal"  wound is meant to look like, and neither did the nurse at my GP's practce.  

However I looked at  the photos here in the "members only" Gallery, and was  reassured as several looked just like mine. (Though some did look rather nasty!)  what's more the majority of photos on there are not of surgery but of happy smiling people, all grateful to be alive.

Though I still have a rather bumpy chest, three months on, it did not interfere with wearing swim suits on holiday. Though it was fairly conspicuous, no one  stared, I forgot about it. Given a few weeks you will feel much happier.

I can't help over  seat belts, ours just  misses mine  in the  passenger seat and when   driving a right hand drive car in the  UK  the belt passes over my right shoulder. More of a problem in the US with left hand drive I guess.

Depression

by Theknotguy - 2018-08-26 08:54:29

I had heard that post implant depression is common but couldn't get any real good figures on how much or how bad.  I should amend my comment to post heart procedure as that is supposedly common too.  Once again, couldn't get any good numbers.  It may be more common than reported.  

After I got my pacemaker and as soon as I heard about post implant depression I found a psychologist in the area who specialized in trauma and medical depression.  Turns out they are available.  I had several sessions with her and she helped a lot.  For some people there is a stigma attached to going to a pych type person so if you don't want to go to a psychologist I would suggest a trained clergy or other similar type of person. I didn't go that way so I can't suggest anyone for you.  Perhaps your EP/Cardiologist may have someone to whom you can be referred.  Main point being to get some kind of help.  

Your family has an agenda.  Your friends have an agenda.  Your work needs someone who can do the job.  None of them can tell you what it feels like to have this medical device inside you and none of them can tell you about the various thumps and bumps you may feel.  It can be overwhelming at first.  Having someone tell you to "buck up" doesn't help either.  People with platitudes drive me insane and are no help either.  

I won't go into the various things that may be going through your head.  Maybe you're feeling like damaged goods right now.  Some people have a real problem with that.  However you can't change reality.  You CAN deal with it though.  

Another surprising thing is to keep hydrated.  Sounds weird I know, but I kept drinking water at first.  More than what I would before I had the pacemaker.  Second thing was to do some kind of regular exercise activity.  Third thing was to do pet therapy.  And fourth was the psychologist.  All of the activity helped.  

I go overboard about pet therapy but it's really hard to stew about your problems when you have a cold, whiskered nose in your face who is doing something goofy that makes you laugh.  Being able to pet that furred body helped too and when they weren't up to something they'd be passed out lying in my lap.  Hard to concentrate on your problems.  Hard to be depressed when they're telling you everything is going to turn out OK.  

I know the pacemaker forum can sometimes go overboard with the "Life's great!" attitude.  It's hard to deal with sometimes when you don't feel that way yourself.  Yeah we have heart problems and we need to deal with them.  But lying around with the "Oh woe is me!" attitude doesn't get you anywhere either.  We've all been there and choose to get on with our lives. Sorry 'bout that but sitting on the couch or lying in bed doesn't do it either.    

Hopefully I've given you some positive suggestions and something will help.  Main point being to get some kind of help.  

Otherwise I hope you have a smooth adjustment to your pacemaker.  Hang in there.  
 

Seat Belts

by John W in SC - 2018-08-26 09:34:02

I have a suggestion for the seat belt problem.  I got my pacemaker June 28th, just below the left collar bone.  I'm a fairly thin guy, and don't have a lot of natural padding up there.  A seat belt on my left, as when I'm driving, hurts!

I tried putting padding over the pacemaker, but nothing helped relieve the pressure from the seat belt.  I now take a standard hand towel, fold it into eighths, and place it between the seat belt and my chest just below the pacemaker.  This lifts the belt up so that it passes over the pacemaker without touching it.

This really works for me.  If it doesn't work for you, well, you probably already had the hand towel, so it didn't cost anything to give it a try!

 

John W in SC

Seatbelt

by El Gordo - 2018-08-26 11:52:59

I use a piece of a "pool noodle" between my seatbelt and my sternum to elevate the belt off me. It drives me nuts when the belt touches me there.

Respectfully, you have to watch who you listen to, especially yourself. Stop talking to yourself about the bump and the foreign body inside you. Every time you do, you reinforce the negative things you've told yourself and make it easier to trigger the upset. It's a spiral.

I'll bet you feel better than you did before you got the implant, maybe a little more energy? (my list of improvements is huge) You have a little miracle inside you. Start focusing on that. 

I hope I haven't overstepped myself, but considering your line of work, it sounds like you simply can't see the forest for the trees.. Step back and look at the entire picture.

Sorry to preach, I hope you feel better soon.

 

Gord

 

Heart of my heart

by Gotrhythm - 2018-08-26 14:18:55

Though I understand from reading posts here that depression is common after implant, I didn't have that. Actually, I think I had been depressed before, and because I felt so much better I was euphoric for several days. But I really get it about having a foriegn body!

The very thought that I had a machine inside me that was running my heart...it creeped me out. I hated it. I really, really didn't want it in me.

But after a while, I realized resistance was not only senseless, it wasn't good for me. I needed to stop thinking of the pacemaker as "foreign" something "other." But trying to resist resistance will only make you crazy. In order to change my feelings as well as my mind, I gave the pacemaker a name. I called it Mon Coeur, literally "my heart." Loosely translated, it's an endearment like "heart of my heart."

About the seatbelt. The best thing I found was a folded washcloth placed between my chest and the belt.

Depression and seat belt

by AgentX86 - 2018-08-26 20:18:01

I didn't have an depression at all.  None for the CABG surgery in '14, either.  AF and AFL really bummed me out, though. Anything was an improvement. The pacemaker was most welcomed, by the time we got that far.

As far as the seatbelt resting on the scar, the previous two posts hit right on it.  The idea isn't to pad the incision, rather to make sure the belt doesn't touch it.  Mine is still quite sensitive after six months and my pecoral muscle on that side is quite sore after the gym (no weight lifting).  I use one of the "sheepsin" shoulder harness covers (it says on the seatbelt) and just adjust it each time I get in my truck so that it sits on my sternum and lifts the belt over the PM and incision.  The belt in my wife's car irides higher on my shoulder (seats in a Mustang are lower than a pickup ;-) so pading isn't needed.

Good luck with work.  I think you'll find that it's going to be a lot easier getting back than you think.

 

seat belt

by dwelch - 2018-08-27 23:27:41

I am on my fifth pacemaker more than half of my life with these devices.  First one at 19 years old, we had known for years about the problem so when the day finally came, I cant say I was prepared but I knew it was coming, we had recently lost a teenager my cousin at the time to a car wreck, and saw what that did to the family, so if I ended up dead because I didnt want a pacer...well my thoughts then and my thoughts now that this thing is keeping me alive and making me normal.  Over 30 years later, this as far as I am concerned is all borrowed time.  My wife sees it as no different than someone that needs glasses, I think it is a bit more than that but is it?  Nobody is perfect everyone has their own issues, this one is pretty easy to fix with a tiny bit of electronics.

Your body will smooth it out the best it can it wont disappear but the edges will soften.

Folks here have already gotten to the seatbelt issue, 30 years ago I was pretty skinny, now well not.  But the seat belt has been an issue, tried various things, but you really do want to use something like a balled up sock, a towel, whatever to not really put on the device but to put above or below so the belt is not resting on the device and the padding is not either.  Certainly at first this is not so much fun, using your arm to drive is not so much fun either, but trust me you will forget you have this thing, you wont notice it.  I know that doesnt help, as others are telling you, seek some help if you need, no reason not to, you are not alone.

Last xmas I got a sheepskin looking seat belt pad thing that wraps around the belt, over the years sometimes I revert to these and use them over the device, this one was a bit huge, the kind you might see with someone who is older than both of us combined.  But its nice, been pretty happy with it.  Granted when the next device comes it will probably have to take a break or will slide it up or down to be above or below but not on the device.

Some vehicles have a slider that moves along the door pillar and raises or lowers the top of the belt, might try raising that to the top or at least some to also let some pressure off.  you really dont want to drive without the belt, there are times I would just hold the belt with my left hand.  I now live where it is cold in the winter so heavier clothes and that helps too, summer with the lighter/thinner/less layers can be more of a problem.

For a while I had a car from the 60s with no shoulder belt, so that was nice as far as the pacer goes as far as the steering column being friendly in a wreck well that is another story.  Another vehicle newer, but as I write this would be a classic/vintage as well the shoulder strap in that truck had a plastic slider that you could slide to the top and it would allow the belt to be a little slack, that was great.  tried to recreate that with various clips over time but didnt really work like that belt in that truck.  Mostly I just use the fuzzy wrap around the belt things except right after a new one is put in and I use a hand cloth or rolled up sock or something like that to completely keep it off the implant area.  Being your first pacer the skin will toughen a bit and get so that cloths and the seat belt etc rubbing wont be as bothersome.  Just give it time.

Depression

by Valerie558 - 2018-09-01 20:49:14

Thank you for all your comments & suggestions !

Depression

by MamaBear+ - 2018-10-03 21:00:52

Hi Valerie,

I was going to post about depression, but I saw yours. I'm about 2.5 months post ICD surgery. I'm feeling depressed and went to see my family doctor. I also saw this article:

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/16917-depression--heart-disease

I found the information helpful. Hope it can help you as well.

 

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