I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!

 My name is destiny and im a girl and i  was born in Hawaii and i still live there also When i was born i had asthma. i've had five heart surgeries, five brain surgeries, 2 knee surgeries, 1 hip, i had so much i can't say them all. but all together i had 21 surgeries. i have a twin sis named alex, a lil sis named annie, and a big bro named conner. my mommy is Sarah. right now in 2019 im 9. my b-day is October 28. my grandma died wen i was 5. my daddy died wen before i was born. on 4/8/19, i got pneumonia. i still have it now and im getting scared.  my best friend is now daisy cuz my old best frend savanna didn't wanna be my frend anymore. ive had 258 seizures just this year. im behind my grade level. i have a hole in my head (that's covered with skin) and if you look in the hole you can see my heart beat. my PM makes me a foot shorter then an average person my age.im only 2 feet and 9" im always the smallest person in my class, im really sensitive. this is why i, destiny, hate my life.

 

this is wut my ID bracelet says: front says: destiny long

back says: pacemaker shunt asthma pneumonia 369)-412-5525

8 Comments

Aloha Beautiful Aisha

by KonaLawrence - 2019-04-02 03:31:24

Hi Chloe,
I believe you are a beautiful person in the only way that really matters, inside.  I have been known to tell people they have a "big heart".  By that I mean that they are kind, considerate, wonderful and beautiful.  I believe you have a "big heart" too.
I'm 70 years old.  I had a difficult time when I was your age.  I took refuge in books and sometimes a friend.  I am glad to hear that you have a mother, two sisters and a brother.  It is wonderful to have a family.
Good luck on your journey.  I think you will do very well.
Lawrence

Love kitties

by Weezie69 - 2019-04-02 16:05:52

Hi Chloe,

I love cats, too! I have 2 beautiful white kitties. I found them when they were just 2 weeks old. They were out in my garden shed.

I haven't had nearly as many operations as you, but I have a pacemaker, too. I also have a 9 year old granddaughter who is very small. She was born too early and only weighed one pound. She has a hard time finding clothes to fit.

I'm glad you have family and a best friend. What would you like to change about your life?

I would be glad to be your friend.

Hole in heart

by Pacemum - 2019-04-02 18:08:42

Hi Chloe

My daughter was also born with a hole in her heart which she had an operation to fix.   She also has a pacemaker.  She was also very small when she was your age.  Now she is 19 and a bit taller than me.  I am not that tall but there are many people smaller than me. 

It is hard when you are in and out of hospital all of the time to keep up with your friends.   My daughter also fell behind with her school work but she now has a place to learn to become a nurse later this year.

Some times every one can look busy and we hide how we feel but it is best to talk and let those you love know how you feel.

Sue

Well then

by pacergirl - 2019-04-04 20:28:03

" hi susie. its me chloe. remember me? from hawaii? well anyway, its me. im happy for you thet yer getting a new PM. but why r u exited? SURGRY REMEMBER??? i hate surgeries. but mabe thats just cuz im yunger then you and ive had more surgeries then you. also, please reed my message called I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on general postings so u can no abowt my life. mahalo (thanks in hawaiin)"

Chloe, :). Thank you for being happy for me.  

Your message is about why I'm happy.  I will keep in mind that you are 9 years old. Yes, you have had many surgeries.  Please keep in mind that many adults, including me, do not share how many other surgeries they have had for other reasons. Nor do we share how many times we have faced life challenging events. So, yes, I am happy and grateful for my life. So many, many people never survive. :-(  Some die as babies.

I'm so grateful that you are a survivor. I'm thankful that you are here, alive and well. I am so sorry you have had a friend that is no longer there but I'm glad that you have a new friend. What I'm really saying is life is tough, but clearly you have family and friends that love and care about you! Never, ever give up!  The world is a better place because of you!

I am excited now that I'm getting my 3rd PM. This means that I have another chance to keep living. My surgery is a small price to pay for my life!  It has nothing to do with you being younger or having more sugeries than I.  I'm older yes, however I have had many other surgeries beginning when I was 13. Again when I was 18 for the emergency birth of my twin babies during the Viet Nam war. It was quite scary, nearly died. :-( There have been many other surgeries for me to handle.  They all have been necssary to save my life.  Many, many of the wonderful people her have lived similar lives. :-)

Chloe are not alone and I care greatly!

So, I am happy to know you are alive and well and I'm really glad that you are asking questions... That's how we learn about others.  You bring a smile to my heart because you trusted me to ask a tough question... Why am I happy because I am having another surgery?  Because I get another chance to live, to be kind, to make a difference in someone's life... Perhaps that's you? I don't know, but you are a curious child and I celebrate that! 

 

chloe

by jessie - 2019-04-04 23:43:40

everything susie says is spot on and funny enough chloe but susie and i have been friends since 2006 when we got our pacemakers. you are a very bright girl and i am happy you are reaching out. it's tough in childhood sometimes. things happen. i am glad you have a new best friend. take care wee one. tomorrow is a brand new dya. jessie

beep

by Ilovecats34 - 2019-04-05 17:47:25

Hi there!!!!!!!!!! Ya I'm commenting myself!!!!!!!!! It's me, Charlie!!!!!!!!!

You are strong

by lj_ranch - 2019-04-06 03:02:28

Chloe:. You sound like such a strong person!  I am short too and sometimes that is good.  A lot of people love you so stay strong!

thx

by Ilovecats34 - 2019-04-27 23:59:05

thx everyone

 

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