Confused.

I have no idea what to do.
I don't want to wear a bikini because of all my scars , but I want to wear one so badly at the same time.

I asked my mom if I could ever have plastic surgery to fix this problem and she said of course I could , when I stopped growing. Anything to make me feel confident and beautiful about myself. ( just no dying my hair).

I honestly am so confused about the whole thing I don't know what to do.
On one hand I would love to go to the beach one year in a bikini and feel gorgeous while I'm still a teenager(because as everyone knows when your a teenager the pressure is to be beautiful and confident and known.) and I would especially love to go in a bikini on a senior trip.(Where all the seniors go to the beach over the summer.) On the other hand I don't want to let other people who think I'm brave down , I was also the face of the heart at a heart ball a month ago and we raised $65,000.00 7,000 of that was donated in my honor. So I would feel guilty if I did get plastic surgery.
Please help me and tell me your opinions !

8 Comments

Thank you !

by pacemakerkid - 2009-06-02 01:06:54

Thank you all sooo much for all of these beautiful and inspiring comments !

surgery?

by nat36 - 2009-06-02 01:06:55

I have to agree with all of the above. I don't think you need surgery for your scars. They are part of you and you are beautiful. I do understand the pressure to look good at your age. I have a sixteen year old daughter and she will not wear a bikini because she thinks her body is not perfect. Her body is great but she does not think so. We all put way too much pressure on ourselves to look perfect!
What about a bathing suit that looks like a two piece in the back and on the sides but is connected down the middle. Not sure where your scars are but that might be an option.

pacemakerkid

by pacergirl - 2009-06-02 09:06:43

Hello girlfriend,

I strongly feel that you should take a very good look at yourself.... then YOU decide just what it is that YOU want to do. Then DO IT!

Part of becoming a well adjusted adult is learning to make important decisions. This could well be your first. Good luck and please know I support you 100% in any decision you make.

blessing to you and to each one of your scars.
Pacergirl

Go For It!

by NWGirl - 2009-06-02 12:06:01

Hey Pacemakerkid -

I only wish I still looked good in a bikini :-)

Enjoy your youthful figure!! Go to the beach and be proud of your body - scars and all. You are alive, aren't you?

Ditto to those wonderful comments above. Be proud of the skin you are in. It's you.

Have fun this year!!

scars?

by Angelie - 2009-06-02 12:06:18

When you say scars as pleural, I'm not sure how many or where they are, but I think that you should embrace them. Try some ointment, or vitamin E to help lighten them and blend them better with your natural skin tone.
I have scars all over the place, but I don't really let it bother me. Each scar has a story, and is just as much part of you as everything else.
You mentioned plastic surgery, but I'm wondering if you're willing to have plastic surgery after EVERY implant that you have. Seems like a lot to keep up with through the years.

If anyone gives you a hard time about your appearance, than are they really a friend, or someone you want to spend your time with?
Anyone that makes comments strictly based on appearance I feel is jaded, and vain. There's so much more to life, and to people, than the way people look.....the sooner people realize that the better.
You're young. Your body will go through many changes through the years, and your scars are just chapters to your long story of life.
Let me give you one of my favorite quotes:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss

Be proud of who you really are. You know first hand that the outside doesn't always portray what's inside, so use your scars to show people what really counts.

go get 'em,
Angelie

opinions

by Tracey_E - 2009-06-02 12:06:41

Really, the only opinion that matters is yours!!

some random thoughts...

... I'd rather see my daughters dye their hair than have plastic surgery LOL. Cheaper, less disappointment if you don't like the results, and it doesn't involve unnecessary anesthesia. But if they truly wanted the surgery, I'd support them.

...It's trite but it needs to be said... Beauty comes from the inside, and to an extent people perceive your attitude more so than your looks. A good hair cut, well done make up, working out to stay toned and fit, a big smile... those are all things people notice long before a scar, and in my opinion, do much more to boost our confidence than the superficial because they're within our control. Walking with the knowledge that you look your best- with or without the surgery- projects that confident attitude attracts more so than perfect looks. Think about the people around you that you think look great. Then look more closely and I'll bet you see some flaws mixed with a lot of confidence

... If you're not sure, don't do anything. Go see a plastic surgeon and find out your options but don't do anything if you're not 110% sure it's what you want.

... When's your senior trip? Plastic surgeons don't have magic wands, it'll take time to heal and they will not want sun on their work for as long as a year.

...No one is perfect, wear the bikini and don't worry about it. Some girls don't have flat tummies, some will think their thighs are too fat, some have birthmarks, too many freckles, legs are too short... no one is perfect and no one is more self critical of their body image than a teen girl! The perfect ones you see in the magazines are air brushed. Perfection does not exist and too many people waste way too much energy going after something unachievable. I've seen your picture in the gallery. You're a beautiful girl, consider the scar to be added character. Wear your bikini and be happy!

...Have you tried anything on the scars? A plastic surgeon may have some non-surgical suggestions to make them less noticeable. I had great luck with medical grade vitamin E and lanolin ointment. You really don't see my scar unless I point it out, it's a faint line now.

...You were the face of a fundraiser, be proud of that. Definitely don't feel embarrassed if you decide to get the scars worked on, but who knows, maybe someone will see the scar and learn from it or be inspired. We never realize the little ways we touch other peoples lives.

...(at the risk of sounding like the mom I am and being a total buzzkill LOL) All the girls who wear the pretty bikinis and get the great tans in their teens? They get to be my age and have wrinkles and skin cancer. I live in Fl where everyone lives at the beach, it's scary how many pretty women look ten years older than they are.
And even more scary is how many of my friends have had surgeries for melanoma. Two of my three closest friends in the last 6 months, one of them it was her 5th and under drs orders she doesn't leave the house now without long pants and a turtleneck- year round- here in tropical south Fl. I get hot just looking at her! She looks like a total geek but if someone comments on her strange attire, she smiles, thanks them, then offers to show them the scars on her back. I'm a mean mom, my girls wear the bikinis but only with a cute rash guard/ sunshirt over it. They don't fight me too much now, but the oldest is still in middle school so I'm sure there are battles ahead. I'll cave eventually but I believe in aiming high so I'll get away with it as long as I can :o)

Hi

by tcrabtree85 - 2009-06-03 12:06:31

Hi,
I know I don't know you well and also have not read what others have really said. I am 23 and also hate that the scars are everywhere but have became use to it over time. I'm not normal and have huge scars that stick up a lot. The oils and stuff never worked for me.
I had to get a new pm in Jan and had a different Dr than my first this Dr took special classes to be trained as a plastic surgeon for the incisions also. So with the new one he removed my scar completely as they would do in plastic surgery well all in all that made it worse.
He had me talk to a plastic surgeon just because he was irritated and they said it would do me no good as a younger person to try and remove it to make it less visible it would flattened it more but still not make it less visible. I did discover though that when your about 35 scar tissue starts calming down. So at that age or whenever the pm replacement happens close to that time they will remove it once again.
For me I can care less what others think about my scar but the pain that comes along is the reason that they will attempt again when i'm older. I can understand why you would want it but don't let those scars take away from having fun and enjoying yourself.
True friends ignore and others may ask and all you can do is tell them your story and go on enjoying the sun.

I will be thinking of you sweetie.

Tammy

hey there

by Hot Heart - 2009-06-07 04:06:25

Listen hunni ive not read what anyone else has said, i just saw your post.

My daughter has had loads of surgery and has got lots of scars. She is absolutely gorgeous. People used to stare at her scars sometimes, but she got used to that.

She's 29 now, she's never been with out a really good looking boyfriend since she was 16, and has an amazingly handsome partner now.

Shes got huge scars on her legs and wears the teeniest bikinis ever.

People look beyond the scars, just dont worry about it. The scars are part of you, rejoice in them. Look after your skin, moisturise from a young age, get a glow but dont let yourself burn, use fake tan, exercise eat well, dont smoke and dont drink large amounts, and, in the future you will be the most beautiful girl around.

I look at my daughter and am filled with pride.

Love sweety from HH xx

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