Hello Everyone

Hello,

I am 21 year old with a ICD. I had mine placed in november of 07. I had my first time being shocked and it wa 8 times and under 10 mintues, one of the worst feelings of my life also haha.

My story goes like this.

My whole life i have been an athlete and loved doign extreme stuff and just having fun. I was able to receive a schoalrship to play college football, over my christmas break i collapsed while playing pick up basketball with my friends, and this is what lead to my doctors finding out about my hearth issues. The scarey thing is i have always had the same symptoms as the day when i collapsed and i was luckily able to wake up from when i collapsed and still be alive right now.

After my surgery I still lived my life the same way as before i even got the ICD. I would shoot around basketballs with my friends and go out to bars and hang out. But one night while at the bar my ICD went off 8 times in under 10 mins.

Now i wont go out and do anything and just sit around my house and my family and friends are scared for me that i will never be the same as i once was. I tell them i will get back to normal i just need to get better my own way. Over the last week i decided to go out with my friends, and have a few beers( i also drank a bottle of water afterr 2 beers to stay hydrated) and i felt my heart racing and discomfort the whole night and was scared i was going to get shocked. My parents got me a watch that tell me what my heart rate is, and i felt like that would help me out, but it has only given me more axiety and becoming more depressed due to me going out twice to parties and seeing my heart rate at 162 and i decided to leave even before i said hello to everyone.

I guess im starting to get scared also that i will not be back to normal and i feel depressed alot and have axiety whenever im out and not at my house, and i dont like it one bit because before i had this ICD i was never home or was always out doing something.

i guess im just hear to talk to people and try to get better since everyone has some of the same problems and trying to get better. So HELLO to everyone.

9 Comments

No one should expect...

by turboz24 - 2008-07-08 02:07:22

No one, including yourself should expect you to be "your old self again". Your life and situation has changes and anytime it does to any serious extent, you should not worry about being exactly the same person you used to be.

As for anxiety, I think we all feel the anxiety of knowing that we have an underlying condition. It tends to make most of use more sensitive to any issues we have. I think everyone on here is way more aware of their heart, etc than most "normal" people.

I personally have problems with dealing with my ICD physically. I ignore it as best as I can (by avoiding it at all costs), but I also deal with the fear of continuing cardiac issue, will I get better or worse, so on.

Your ICD should be able to decern if your heart beat is normal, but high vs vtach. Ask your doctor about your ICD settings, for example, mine monitors from 160-220, but does nothing, once I'm over 220, if it sees an arrythmia, then it will try to "manage" it, but will not shock me unless the arrythmia continues or exceeds 240 bpm. Basically the only time I will get shocked is when my heart rate is abnormal and over 220 bpm.

I was actually more lucky on the food/drink front. I didn't drink alcohol or coffee, so that wasn't hard to stop. As for caffine.... Well, used to drink some diet drinks with caffine, but found plenty of others I liked without it.

Hi and welcome!

by bambi - 2008-07-08 04:07:36

You have been given some excellent suggestions and advice Matt. I think the pro active, take the bull by the horns, advice Cathryn gives you may help you more than you think! When we feel there are things out of our control, doing those things that we ARE in control of can give us purpose, courage, and a sense of accomplishment! Taking care of those areas of your health that you can control will go a long way in helping you heal. There are many on this site with the same issues of fear, anxiety, and depression that will offer you an ear and consolation!
Keep posting and let us know how you're doing!
Bambi

Welcome MattUM2

by harley63 - 2008-07-08 08:07:26

Glad that you have found this website. Really great group of people here. You will find support, encouragement and that many others have similar experiences to share.

The anxiety you have described can be a normal reaction to having the ICD fire. From all reports, this is far from an enjoyable experience. I can not address how it feels as I have a pacemaker. But I sure know the anxiety of watching the clock, checking my pulse rate and the limitations that one can apply to what would be their typical lifestyle.

Try to go to the get togethers with friends and only drinking water. You need the socialization & laughter with friends more than the isolation from your support system. Ditch the watch that your parents got you & just offer a simple explaination to them that it maybe creating more anxiety than help at this time.

Your life will get back to a form of normal in time. We are here to listen, encourage and offer up suggestions.

Again, welcome and glad your here. Keep us informed on your progress. It's a journey and we are all on this path together.

Always cheering for you!!
Harley63

Welcome

by candi51 - 2008-07-08 10:07:19

Welcome Matt!
I am 31 and have had an ICD for about 6 wks now. I have not been shocked but have had a couple instances of my heart racing and making me short of breath, etc. It is no fun for sure.

I am constantly worried about getting my bpm too high with exercise or activity. My Dr told me to just keep an eye on my bpm but not to obsess about it but that's easy for him to say :-)

For me I felt very isolated after my diagnosis and then medical procedures. I just felt like even though I had my family and friends around me I was alone and don't get me wrong- they are super supportive but I definately felt SOOO much better after finding this site and being able to talk to people who had been through similar experiences. I think having the support of my PM/ICD friends has helped me to be better at getting back out with my other friends.

If you ever want to talk- we're all here for ya whether it be in chat or personal message:-)

Candi

Hi Matt

by joy1 - 2008-07-09 01:07:44

I too, have an ICD and have experienced what you have...what is called an electrical storm. This is when a person gets shocked an excessive number of times in a very short period of time. It's really scary. Like you, I sat on my couch, afraid to do anything for a long time. I eventually sought counseling and excepted the offer of my doctors to go on anti anxiety medication and eventually anti depressants too. Most heart patients struggle with these problems but those of us with ICD and who have been shocked even more so. Believe it or not it is a question of medical academia and researchers to evaluate the benefits of ICDs versus the decreased quality of life we tend to experience.

There is a website called "Zappers" which is a yahoo group. You will find a link under the INFORMATION "web links" There is alot of good information specifically about issues that ICD recipients face. It can help you and your parents to better under stand what your up against and hopefully realize your not alone!

If you want to chat about your experience or issues your facing, or questions, feel free to post me. Read my bio and it will give you insight to what I have gone through over the past couple of years.

Joy

WELCOME MATT

by pete - 2008-07-09 04:07:39

Alchohol stresses the heart. Drinking a lot of fluid stresses the heart. You can avoid both of those potential problems easily. Reducing your salt intake will stop any excessive fluid retention. You can do that easily. Your experiences are no reason to sit at home worrying. You should be able to get on with your life by being more carefull and thinking what you may have done to help trigger the shock episode. Think back to that day, what else do you think may have contributed to your heart being stressed. You are young and you have youth on your side. I wish you luck. Cheers pete

hello

by Fluzy Suzy - 2008-07-09 05:07:06

Hello everyone - I have been offline on this sight for several months now, mainly because my beloved computer died on me, ahhhh.
It is now up and running and hope I have not missed a great deal of news.
Hope everyone is well.
Looking forward to reading updates again.
Sue

Welcome Matt

by bini - 2008-07-09 07:07:20

Welcome to the club Matt,
I agree with pretty much what everyone says and wish I could add more. I do not have an ICD but I do have a PM. I am 32 years old and got my PM last year...I had a hard time dealing with it for a month.
I had to remember that my PM is not here to make me limit my life...it is here to help me LIVE a better life then before I got it.
Good luck with everything, keep us updated. And again welcome to the club!

Christine

Sorry but....

by bambi - 2008-07-09 11:07:48

I am concerned when I read a post such as Pete's. I think when a person is shocked by their ICD, it is not their fault or something they can control. We can all perhaps benefit by making better health choices, but to say that Matt should be able to get on with his life by being more careful is not right. I have a pacemaker, not an ICD. My heart goes out to those who have ICD's because they have other issues to deal with. To wonder if their ICD is going to shock them at any given time, not a fun experience from what I've read and heard, is stressful. Period. Matt is also very young and is dealing with coping with an unusual situation for his age. The last thing anyone with an ICD needs to cope with, is that if they don't make perfect decisions and choices, they will cause or trigger a shock. I agree that stress is indeed toxic to our bodies. We can support one another with suggestions of coping with it.
Bambi

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