"Thank You"

• by Pookie
• 2009-12-15 09:12:22
• General Posting
• 940 views
• 7 comments

Thanks to everyone for all of your support during these past few years.

Yesterday was definitely a good day. I still have this smile, almost a smirk, across my face because I am happy that I feel a lot better but at the same time I knew I was right...that something was really wrong with my pacer, no one would believe me or listen to me, but FINALLY an EP did and I feel soooooooooo much better. Not 100%, but better; and I'll take that!!!!!!!

I guess I'll never understand "why" it took so many years to get this fixed or to get them to listen to me. I'm the type of person that needs to know the answer to "why".!!!

I keep going back in my head of all the conversations I had with all the cardiologists, doctors, etc....was I that un-articulate??? Again, it's back to the "why". However, I know I'll never get that answer. But it will still bug me :)

There are still a few settings that the EP and I will have to muddle through, but at least I have an EP now. But "why" wasn't one ever suggested to me before BY MY cardiologist? Next time I see him....I'm asking him point blank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

To think some of my pacer issues could have been fixed years ago still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth....sorry, but that is the way I feel. I guess I feel this way because I've lost so many "friends" during the past 5 years because I was so ill and couldn't do anything with them any more and they slowly all disappered and then I lost the ability to work for the past 3 yrs. I was in a major depression for years too. However, I know life is not fair, but hey, I think I got way more than my fair share. I know, I know, I should be grateful that things are finally turning around, but it will take some time for me to let go of this grudge. And I'm not to the point yet where I'm 100% confident that I will continue to feel better as it's not even been 24 hrs. I've been down many roads where I've thought I was on the mend, only to be slapped with the ailment coming back, so I've learned not to put all my eggs into the basket. Am I weird, or what??? LOL.

Sorry to ramble, just had to get some of my feelings out.

Again, thank you to everyone who has supported me and read my extremely long emails!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pookie