Dreading the Day

During my last interrogation I was told I had nine years left on my pacemaker. I have no problem having my pacer changed. I don't even give it a thought. What I dread more than anything is having to wear the hospital johnnie. Anybody with me on this? We have multimillion dollar pieces of medical equipment and brilliant medical minds and yet we can't improve the johnnie. Janet Jackson almost ruined her career due to a wardrobe malfunction and yet we walk around in these things and no one seems to care. Every time I walk around in one of these things I feel like one of the guys from Men in Motion. I feel like people should be throwing dollar bills at me. I haven't had any bills thrown yet but I did get hit off the back of the head with a bead pan once.
Maybe Martha Stewart could design these. How great would it be to get a color catalog in the mail a week before your surgery. You could pick out your hospital attire and have it ready for you in the room when you arrive. You could choose Navy Blue or if you're a wild child maybe leopard print. I read Brittany Spears tried designing these once but the darn things never stayed on. From now on until a change is made I will start wearing my johnnie backwards. I guarantee they'll be screaming at me to cover up. If I see someone coming towards me with their johnnie on backwards I'll assume they are a fellow pacer and I'll nod my head in solidarity.
Once I get these johnnies updated I'm going after those oversized sacks of potatoes they call beds.
Can you say Tempur-Pedic?
HaPpY PaCiNg

5 Comments

Take Two For Comfort

by Bill-2 - 2010-01-07 09:01:00

Get your hospital to do what ours does after they got tired of looking at the naked hind ends of old folks. They give us two of them things and you put one on backward (which way is that) and the other on the other way. Got everything covered real good and the little kids no longer stare and snicker.

Easy way to deal with them

by ElectricFrank - 2010-01-07 11:01:53

Just take them off!

Tell them you have been diagnosed with LOJS (Loss of Johnny Syndrome)

frank

AS long as..

by turboz24 - 2010-01-08 04:01:40

As long as the hospital "johnnie" covers my ICD, I could care less what else is hanging out.....

Showing my back side or even my "man parts" doesn't bother me nearly as much as showing my metal "boob"....

I know, I'm weird.

But yes, when I went in for a CT scan of my knee, they gave me 2 johnnies to wear.

Yippee!

by pacergirl - 2010-01-08 10:01:33

Finally a gown designed just for pacer chicks and guys! haha! I will get busy designing just the right prints and styles for the group! And no..... the opening won't be in the front!

After being hooked up to IV's this week and still feeling a little puny I can tell you that nothing has changed in the clinic atmosphere either!

I think the wild child maybe leopard print gown will be just right for me... in Pink of course.

I still don't know what is making me so sick... however should have test results back today.

Take care all,
Pacergirl

hey turbo

by jessie - 2010-01-09 10:01:26

you solved t-mans problem. good for you! love it. 2 gowns. hey t-man now you know what it is like to be a woman. a woman gets up in stirrups and bares her bottom so to speak to the dr. and just about anyone else including th cleaning man. lol this really gave me a laugh to-day. hugs jessie

You know you're wired when...

Microwave ovens make you spark.

Member Quotes

The pacer systems are really very reliable. The main problem is the incompetent programming of them. If yours is working well for you, get on with life and enjoy it. You probably are more at risk of problems with a valve job than the pacer.