Hating My Pacer

I hated my pacer and everything that came along with it. I hate interrogations, coumadin tests, co-pays and meds.
I love spending time with my family, going fishing, working out and taking in baseball games. I realize I can't do the things I enjoy unless I do the things I hate. The pacer is necessary. I'm not sure where I would be without it but I know how I felt before I got the pacer and I never want to back to that again. The funny thing is the pacer is doing it's job 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. It's job is to pace, period. It's not there to control my anxiety or heal my a-fib. It paces, that's all. It's giving me a better quality of life and allowing me to do what I enjoy. I no longer hate having it. I think of it as one of those relatives or friends that you dread seeing. When they come to your door you shake their hands or give them a hug and say welcome but inside your saying "not this freeloading SOB again". You know their going to stay too long and you'll never be able to get rid of them once they get comfortable but you make the best of it. That's how I will approach my pacer. I know I can never get rid of it so I'll make the best of it and press on. Other than minor inconveniences this ride hasn't been all that bad.
Bob

8 Comments

susie

by jessie - 2010-01-17 02:01:58

hoping and praying that you come thru this week with no blood clots. thinking of you and praying. hugs to my friend jessie

Well said

by wenditt - 2010-01-17 05:01:57

Spoken like a true fighter! Personally, my inner bulldog has her tail between her legs but I am hoping again very soon that she will be unleashed!

Good for you buddy!
Wendy

Wendy

by Tracey_E - 2010-01-17 06:01:48

Let the bulldog have a rest, where's the inner playful happy puppy?

accepting our pacemakers

by cfritza - 2010-01-17 07:01:41

I know when I first got my pacemaker, I felt somehow defective, and to top it off I actually felt worse.I was running 2-4 miles 4times a week worked out with weights and felt pretty healthy. Now the incision site hurt, I actually could feel it pacing (until they did some adjustments) which was not a very good feeling. I never felt tired short of breath lightheaded except the two times my heart slowed down and paused for 4seconds the first time and 8 seconds 18months later. I . So I felt sad depressed and anxious but realized I can either let it ruin my life or pick myself up and just deal with it and get back to living my life like before as best I could. Running and working out again like I use to helped tremendously. I like that saying what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. So heres to all of us who are trying to get back to our lives again after our pacemakers! And it's nice to know we have people like TraceyE,ElectricFrank and others who can help steer us along.

power

by Tracey_E - 2010-01-17 10:01:12

Nothing can make you unhappy unless you choose to let it. I've always believed being happy is a choice. It's silly to let a little hunk of titanium keep us from being happy.

Altho I never hated the PM I was

by janetinak - 2010-01-17 10:01:48

fearful. But then when I realized how great I felt after the AV node ablation & PM in that I had energy again & was not SOB, wow! yes the checking the PM & the coumadin & its checking INR is somewhat of a drag. But the pay off is after almost 10 yrs I still feel great & am still here.

And you bet going off the big C is scary, Pacergilr, I have had to do it recentlly & a couple of times in the past. All went well & hope it does for you. I looked up my handy list of things that increase INR (salads, etc) & ate more of them. When off the big C all went well with the procedures. Hope it all goes well for you too.

Janet

Oh So True Tracey

by ppt - 2010-01-17 11:01:14

It is all about choices! The other night at the sleep center I waited while another person was hooked up first. She was 90 and in frail health so I cheerfully continued to read my latest book (Operating Systems !!). Another clinic patient was watching TV and he started to grumble when I started reading. He turned off the TV saying he did not want to disturb my reading. I indicated that TV was fine - that I very often read or study with TV or music in the background so I was fine with TV on. He grumbled and grumbled and I said again "No need - I am fine - really". He stomped off and just before he did I said "Your choice" nicely of course. Seems like everything is a choice - but of course having a PM is not really a choice - but how we accept it and carry on is a choice and I so much prefer having a positive attitude ! Thx Bob !!

choices

by pacergirl - 2010-01-17 12:01:48

Yes, my friends... it is all about choices. We make them everyday. I am choosing to go to church today with my friends. I don't feel so good, but the positive energy I know I will find there is going to really help me. It isn't the flu so I won't be making anyone sick. My test is still scheduled for Friday.
The only thing that has me worried is that I have to stop the blood thinners for a week. The last time i did that I ended up with a nasty 5" long blood clot. I certainly don't wish to deal with another one of those as it nearly ended all my problems for good.

Gotta go for now,
Make it a great day if you can,
Pacergirl

You know you're wired when...

Your life has spark.

Member Quotes

Just because you have a device doesn't mean you are damaged goods and can't do anything worthwhile and have to lie down and die. In fact, you're better and stronger. You're bionic!