family

I'm 45 and recenlty remarried I have had my pacemakera and defibrillator for 6 years now and I had two health kids before that ages18 and 6 my new husband has no children, my doctors have advised me form trying to concieve again but i want to have a child with him so bad. Has anyone out there my age have a happy story with the perfect ending.

2 Comments

45?

by pete - 2008-08-25 03:08:54

45 was and still is in some countries considered to be a age at which childbirth carries greater risks for the mother and the baby. You have an ICD so the risks you would be taking are quite high . I really do feel you need to spend more time talking about this especially to your new husband. Is it not the fact that you want to be together for as long as possible because you love each other so much. It would be much safer for you to adopt a baby and treat it as your very own kin. It would be as much yours as your husbands and you would be doing something wonderful, giving a child a chance to fulfill its potential that it probably would otherwise miss. The gene pool is vast but as you go back in time we are all related to each other. I really do feel that it is important that you consider your own state of health first. You could ask advice from your doctors but I feel sure they will not be to happy if you decide to have a baby. Also you must also consider your two children that you already have. They still need their mother. If you feel offended by anything I have said please accept my apologies. Cheers pete

which doctor?

by Tracey_E - 2008-08-25 07:08:31

Who have you talked to? If both a high risk ob and your cardiologist/ep recommend against it, I think I'd listen. I'm stubborn and all for defying the odds but sometimes the doctors are right even if it's not what you want to hear. If you haven't talked to both, I'd do that first so you're making an informed decision. As Pete said, your husband and your children need you.

I don't know anyone with an icd who had a baby. Several ladies here have had babies with pm's, myself included, but none with icd's that I can think of.

I can name several friends who wanted babies mid 40's. Some tried and couldn't conceive. Some got pg but had problems. A few had healthy babies. It's not impossible, but our body is working against us once we're past 40. It's a big decision, only you and your husband can decide what's right for you.

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Member Quotes

I had a pacemaker when I was 11. I never once thought I wasn't a 'normal kid' nor was I ever treated differently because of it. I could do everything all my friends were doing; I just happened to have a battery attached to my heart to help it work.