• by Beef
  • 2009-03-08 07:03:52
  • ICDs

Hello all. I'm new to this club and here's a bit about my experience in this subject-
I have been unlucky enough to have had 38 shocks from my ICD in four separate episodes of VT over the past 8 years. Recently I had six shocks in Jan 2009 whilst on my way to the hospital to have an procedure called an Ablation because some recent irregular heart activity.
I am glad that I have the device and I will say that I consider myself lucky to still be alive today because of the treatment I have received, but I still have a real hatered for the anxiety it causes me and I don't think I will ever not fear the shocks.
My device has been checked and there are no problems with it, and until this most recent episode I have been shock free for six years (just enough time to build up a good level of confidence in my drug regeime) but unfortunately now I and am suffering with regular panic attacks and severe anxiety.
I consider myself to be strong, and I know that I will get through this, whether it be with therapy or other forms of help. I am seeking help and hope to get my head straight soon.

It is good to read some of the other posts about shocks, and individual's reactions and attitudes towards them. I wonder if anyone else has had this level of post shock anxiety and how you have coped afterwards.



by Pookie - 2009-03-08 08:03:45

Hi Beef.

Welcome to the club.

I don't have an ICD; I have a I cannot comment on being shocked and the stress and anxiety that would naturally follow that event. I can only imagine.

However, I can comment on depression, stress and anxiety from having a pacemaker with countless complications and 5 surgeries and having died twice because of these complications....long story.

My first 2 years I was a total mess mentally. But, with the support of this very club and counselling and medications I think I'm back on the road of life. It's not the road I was on before the pacemaker, but at least it's a road I can travel. This new road is full of potholes too, but I'm learning how to zig and zag.

I'm glad you found us. I'm glad you realize where you are and are going to seek help. Yes, anxiety is a pain in the butt and always occurs just when we think we have tamed that ugly beast, but it is manageable and I wish you the best of luck.

Surround yourself with good friends and family, they want and need to help. And of course, you now have all of us too!!!!!!


Me Too

by smith.peter2 - 2009-04-06 04:04:29

I just got my first icd march 4th 2009. i heard the shock is like you got kicked in the chest, anyway i am haveing a lot of axiety also i am so afrid of the icd going off. its on my mind 24/7 i found help with this and do see someone and i allways go to pacemaker club it is so helpfull and everyone is nice.

you and me both shoulg try not to worry so much well if you need to chat try to contate me

newy pete

i know how u feel

by curly - 2009-07-07 09:07:33

hi beef my name is curly. i have been shocked and i know all about the anxiety. i was taking zanox when i felt i needed it.i sometimes get anxiety but it hasn't been too bad. it does take time to get better and i commend you for seeking professional help. if my anxiety had not changed i would have gone to a therapist. i feel for you beef but it has been 6 years and it sounds like your meds. are helping. i once read a blog on this pacemaker site that a patient wrote about she travels all over the world. she said there are hospitals everywhere that can care for her and her icd and she will not let the icd control her life. i have taken her advice and i will not let the icd keep me down i advise that to you and whoever reads this comment.take care of yourself beef and may GODbless

Who's better now?... Beef

by Beef - 2009-08-11 04:08:58

Hello again

Thank you for all your support guys. Its a few months since my last post and I hope you'll be glad to know that I am starting to feel a little less anxious now as a general rule, although I am still getting regular bouts of fear as a result of the latest episode of shock trauma.

It's been a hectic couple of months with moving house, having a broken leg from a traffic accident and all the other trials and tribulations that everyday life can deal us. At times I have found it hard, and I admit I have cried a few tears of late, but on a whole though, I think that I'm holding up quite well all being considered.

I am waiting to receive cognitive behavioural therapy for my troubles which has been organised through the NHS mental health division and I must say - I can hardly wait. It's meant to be the good shit.
I have a Defib check on Friday and am hoping that all has been well over the last few months, and that there are no signs of arythmic behaviour.

I'm glad to hear from all you others who are facing similar troubles of your own and it is somewhat comforting and selfish at the same time to know that I'm not alone.

It does get better with time :)

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