Depression
Thank you all for all your advice.
Sometimes family and friends cannot understand.
They mean well but it is really difficult to explain how I feel and my ongoing issues without sounding ungrateful to be alive.
Everyone says you have been given a second chance, get out there and live your life.
As Phil says sometimes even slightly moving my head I feel the dizziness coming on. Then I start reliving those syncope episodes, fearing they might return.
I am extremely grateful and happy, but only thing is the way I feel is blocking the happy part :(
I consider the wonderful people on this pacemaker club, even though we are strangers as my new extended family and friends.
I wish you all the very best for a speedy recovery and all the best for a healthly new life with our new little friend that has been fitted to care of us.
I will try to keep positive and keep going, maybe..
I guess overhearing the nurse in the ICU telling the Cardiologist that this guy is not going to die on my clock did not help.
Thanks to all for your ongoing support. I hope to one day get strong and positive enough to pass my support forward to help other new members in our pacemaker family.
Vince.
2 Comments
Sorry you're feeling bad
by Gotrhythm - 2018-02-26 13:26:28
It can be hard to tell if depression is making you feel terrible, or if feeling terrible all the time is making you depressed.
In my experience, improving on your overall health is the best way to deal with depression.
I recommend cardiac rehab.
Getting a dog is also good. Needing to feed and walk my little poodle has been the only reason I got up many a morning.
You know you're wired when...
You have a T-shirt that reads Wired4Sound.
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I'm still running and feeling great.
Adjustment to new life is hard
by Theknotguy - 2018-02-26 11:46:22
Yeah, the adjustment to the new life is hard. Thousands of questions going through your mind all at the same time. Add to that the feeling that something is going to happen at any time and you get the in-your-face reminder of what happened. Quite a lot for the mind to take in all at once. Only those of us who have lived through it know the feeling.
Concentrate on getting through one day at a time. Just remind yourself to pay attention to today and try not to go off on the tangent of what if.... You just drive yourself crazy. And, if you start looking too far ahead it all gets jumbled up and you wind up exhausted with nothing accomplished. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and the hat.
I think it was nine months before every bump and thump would make me feel like, "Emma, it's the big one!!!" I think it was almost a year before I finally got out of the car and walked across the parking lot without thinking of my pacemaker. Because they did CPR on me it was two years before I finally got back to "normal". It's over four years and I'm still treating the ribs they broke. But most of the time I don't think about what happened and having a pacemaker. I lead a "normal" life and some people tell me I'm the picture of health. I just have to laugh. Oh, and yes, as soon as I got around to talking with her the nurse practitioner said she didn't think I was going to make it either. Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence there lady. Glad I proved you wrong. Went nose-to-nose with a nurse the other day. She said that since I have a pacemaker I'm just knowledgable enough to be dangerous. Hmmm. I've lived with mine four years and you've never had one? I think life experience wins out over text book learning. Ah well.
I can recommend a therapy dog or dogs. You can't beat the cold nose and warm heart. Even though my son's dogs aren't certifiied therapy dogs they helped a lot. Something about one lying on each leg looking up at you and telling you things will get better changes the outlook for the day. If you feel bad a game of tug and throwing the ball takes your mind off the worries. Also talked with a psychologist. She helped too.
Hang in there. There's a lot of living yet to do.