asking for help

Leaves

by Old male - 2024-03-09 13:38:47

You didn't mention what lawn equipment was used when you were able to do it yourself. 

I use a riding mower with mulching blades.  Mowing over leaves several times and they seem to disappear.  I break this down into two separate days a few weeks apart so that equipment is not overloaded.

This has worked great for 17 years and think the mulched debris is better for the soil.

Otherwise,  hiring help is usually more dependable than volunteers that are not available when you need them.  Also, lawn care can be a good source of exercise.

lawn care

by new to pace.... - 2024-03-09 13:48:30

I use a battery blower, then either a  broom or rake to sweep the leaves into a long handled dustpan.(no grass in my yard, artifical turf).   Then lift and dump into a trash can.(This is the step could not do.)  These are mostly oak leaves which unfortunatley do not decompose.  The first year(2000) i left them, then the rains came and then moved an became a dam.  Blocking the water.  So learned my lesson and remove them.

new to pace

Help

by Penguin - 2024-03-09 15:18:33

In my experience there are those who offer to help and those who actually go out of their way to do it!  Not many people will change their plans for you, but quite a few will squeeze in some tasks to help you when they can and when it's convenient for them to do so. 

Perhaps that's fair enough?  We all have to be a bit flexible. 

When help is needed

by Gemita - 2024-03-09 16:36:03

Hello new to pace, 

Yes, there is no weakness in asking for help, or acknowledging that sometimes we cannot manage on our own.  Sometimes asking for help is the first sign of acceptance that we may have a problem, the beginning of our journey to make things better. 

I have always been proudly independent, but with mounting health pressures (and ageing itself) I know it is time to get more help if we want to stay in our own home.   I did consider moving but that fills me with dread at the moment and I cannot go there.  As to asking for help on the forum, I hope it is a place where we can feel safe to say whatever we wish providing it is not offensive to other members.  I think we all do this very well.

I hope you will soon be able to be more active.  First time in 60 years to call for help though, that is quite an achievement.  I used to love lawn edge trimming and cutting the grass to perfection, now these are becoming hard work, especially if I have to bend.  Perhaps I should invest in a quality artificial lawn?  

It all about adapting to changing realities

by Andiek11 - 2024-03-09 19:58:26

Some of the strongest people I know / have met, are those who ask for help when it is needed - even if it is outside of their usual comfort zone.   But more importantly, having worked with many seniors from 60's through 90's, I've seen time and again that those who enjoy the best quality of life are those who are willing to be flexible to ever changing realities.  Sometimes the best way to perserve one's independence is by taking strategic steps and getting assistance / help when it makes sense to do so.  Independence is not defined by always doing it on your own.

(Love the conversations here and hearing all the prespectives. :)   )

I understand ( :

by JaneJ - 2024-03-10 04:30:53

I am going through similar experiences with my 74 year old mom.  She is very independent also, but has had some health difficulties over the past couple years which have slowed her down.  She has someone take care of her grass and leaves, but is still able to enjoy planting flowers and working in her garden, which is one of her favorite hobbies.  Glad she has help with what she knows is to much for her, as the worst thing would be for her to do to much and then injure herself further and then your back at square one.  It's important to stay active and take care of things around the house, but equally important to know your limits and when you need help.  I hope you can get healed and back to yourself very soon.  Take care!

healing

by new to pace.... - 2024-03-10 07:31:49

Thanks AndieK11 and JaneJ  for your comments.. Was out at a dance and decided dancing was not for me this time.  Offered to sit and take money and check the others in.  Did get up a few times, slowly, to speak with those i knew and help the gal at the other door.  Came home without  pain.

  It is a hard lesson, but the first thing is to realize ones limations and then to stick with them.  First had driven at night in a while.

new to pace  

Help.

by Selwyn - 2024-03-10 17:19:38

As Clint Eastwood says, "A Man has to know his limitations" ( Magnum Force) .

For years I have used a push along leave vaccuum cleaner. Wonderful machine - doesn't need your back or fingers. 

(https://www.robertdyas.co.uk/garden-gear-1800w-3-in-1-garden-push-vacuum-blower?msclkid=19acdb03a8881e159391beedbcb1c55d&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Performance%20Max%20-%20Test%20-%20High%20Margin&utm_term=2323130630904221&utm_content=High%20Delivered%20Margin)

or similar. I am sure you must be able to get these in the USA. You just need a big builders bag to empty the waste or compost it.

Unfortunately as we age, of course there are limitations that must be recogonised. I can no long run 100m in 12 seconds ( not that I could anyway),,, what I mean is we all have limitations, some more than others. Sometimes it is better to be thankful for what we can do, rather what we cannot now do. Some people are more lucky than others. By concentrating on the positives you are more likely to appreciate you well-being.

thankful for what we can do

by new to pace.... - 2024-03-10 19:08:04

thanks Selwyn .

When i was working for a lawn service company in the late 70's we used that kind of machine in parking lots.  A bagged lawnmower does the same thing.

It was nice having another take care of the leaves this time.

new to pace

Asking for help

by R2D2 - 2024-03-11 15:45:21

Well... I wish I could be of some comfort here, I find it nearly impossible to ask for help for anything. I'm afraid people will think I'm disabled. LOL! I think I'm in denial myself. Plus, it's true that people often offer help but don't follow through and then you just feel stupid for asking. 

Learning and respecting your limitations is important. And don't ever apologize for not being able to do certain things. I know you give it your best effort. 

asking for help

by new to pace.... - 2024-03-11 21:07:39

it does not matter the reason you ask others to help you.  You do not have to tell anyone why you need the help. It is more important to  ask rather than injure yourself.   Sometimes i just ask as  i know they want to help.

new to pace