heh, go figure

Well, I don't know when exactly it happened, but it was sometime this week. At some point during this past week, I stopped hating my pacemaker. Now, I'm not saying that I like the little turd, but the urge to cut it out is no longer there. I guess it just comes with the realization that without it, I would be dead by now. Either way, over the last couple days, when I think about it, I actually don't get depressed about it anymore, it just is what it is. Just wanted to update ya'll as so many of you have really been there for me through all of this.

4 Comments

is it bad??

by sam78 - 2009-11-12 01:11:25

Is is bad of me to wish I could take a chunk out of my cardiologists chest, insert a pacemaker, and then make him go through the feelings of a pacemaker?? Maybe then they would have a better understanding as to how we feel. Glad you made some progress Shadow. Some day I hope to get there as well.

^5

by Pookie - 2009-11-12 11:11:13

I am sooooooooooooo glad to hear that you've stopped hating your little turd of a pacemaker.

I too had a hard time accepting what I went through. I still don't mind the actual pacemaker, what I had a tough time with is I thought it would be a fairly normal surgery but unfortunately mine turned into a nightmare, so mentally I had to deal with that....and still am.

We are all different and we all deal and heal at different speeds.

I just wish my hospital had some kind of group that you could actually go to and speak to other pacers.

Perhaps when I go there on December 3, I can suggest it to my EP. I've always wanted to put this website's address up on the bulletin board too. Guess if I don't act upon my wishes, nothing will get done.

Again, so glad to hear you've accepted your pacer.

Pookie

I compared...

by dward - 2009-11-12 11:11:24

I hated the thought of a pace-maker being implanted in me - felt sorry, depressed, angry, etc. I mean c,mon - I'm only in my 40's!!
Then I compared it to a few people I know... Like my wife who had Macular Degeneration while in her late 20's and lost sight in one eye (can't fix that), and the guy I ended up golfing with, who has not one but two artificial legs. Then there's my friend who has Lou Gerrig's disease (ALS) is in a wheelchair and on a ventilator...

Kind a put things in perspective for me.

Nice thing about a pacemaker

by ElectricFrank - 2009-11-12 11:11:27

You can hate it as long as you need to and it doesn't get hurt feelings or hold a grudge.

Now if it was an ICD it might decide to shock you a few times to get even.

frank

You know you're wired when...

Your device makes you win at the slot machines.

Member Quotes

I am 100% pacemaker dependant and have been all my life. I try not to think about how a little metal box keeps me alive - it would drive me crazy. So I lead a very active life.